Quotes About Humor

I think there are opportunities for women in comedies - how zany is up to them.

There you go. Use your granddaughter to pick up women. That'll get you points in heaven.

I love playing idiots. I love very weird, confused women.

Don't you just hate it, when you are in bed with three beautiful women, and the least attractive one whispers: save it for me!

I won't go hunting with you, Jake, but I'll go chasing women.

Suffice to say, many women find their first appearance on a comedy panel show to be their last. Second chances seem to be given less often to the female of the species.

There are comics who treat women fairly appallingly. But I can be great friends with them because I don't tend to do that ticking of boxes: it can make life too simplistic.

Not many women will go out on a limb to make themselves really unattractive and unfeminine so you can get the laughs, but it's a great thing to do in my book.

What is Thanksgiving without a nutty relative?

What else don't women like besides the Three Stooges? Tom Waits. Being hurt physically or emotionally.

I was the little, funny one. I felt I was the child among grown women.

I trained at The Groundlings and was surrounded by some very funny women and also some very unfunny men. I didn't feel a sense of things being different because I was a girl.

["When are you getting married" in Everybody Loves Somebody] is funny because it's put on by women and men. Society makes women feel like, oh, you're getting old.

I think the whole concept that women aren't funny is dead. It's over; it's done.

I feel like people are funny, and women are people, so I'm sick of the distinction.

Why can't women tell jokes? Because we marry them!

Women's clutches are too small. I open my purse, and with some hydraulic force, a tampon shoots 12 feet into the air.

I know how I get hard. Running on a treadmill behind women in a gym normally does it for me.

When you consider what a chance women have to poison their husbands, it's a wonder there isn't more of it done

Some women were talking about how I put out. And that's just not that case. I don't put out - unless I'm asked very, very politely, and that's not putting out, that's just giving in.

I'm Larry David. I happen to enjoy wearing women's panties.

Going into therapy doesn't guarantee poop on toast.

There's always an article coming out, saying, 'The new thing is funny women!'

Women's beauty, like men's wit, is generally fatal to the owners.