Quotes About Humor

Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.

I went out with a guy who once told me I didn't need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I'm drinking so that you're more fun to be around.

You know you're a hot mess when the only person buying you drinks all night is yourself.

My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate.

I had to feign interest in all this nonsense until I could ask when I could come over and sit on his face. I didn't say that out loud, of course. I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends.

Most men would never tell a girl her Pikachu smells like a crab cake. It's just not done. But they would have no qualms about telling their guy friends. Similarly, if you're a guy and you pull your pants down, and the girl you're with immediately stats text messaging her friends, you have a small penis. Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.

I don't know what it is about accents that makes me want to get undressed and high-five myself.

I can remember my first one-night stand like it was yesterday. Well, maybe not the first. Or the second... or the fifth. I'll just begin with what I can remember and not concern myself with order.

Take a deep breath and don't take any of it too seriously.

I would have gone home to my mother, but I'm not that crazy about my mother.

The health benefits, both mental and physical, of humor are well documented. A good laugh can diffuse tension, relieve stress, and release endorphins into your system, which act as a natural mood elevator. In Norman Cousin's book, Anatomy of an Illness, Cousin's describes the regimen he followed to overcome a serious debilitating disease he was suffering from. It included large doses of laughter and humor. Published in 1976, his book has been widely accepted by the medical community.

I don't know exactly what's wrong with you, but I bet it's hard to pronounce when you're drunk."

It sounded like a good idea at the time, which is probably going to be on my tombstone—along with a catty footnote about poor impulse control. But

And here I thought you didn't want to break and enter," Trick said. "Dude, shut up.

There was nothing I could do but squirm faster and try to trust Adrian, who was surely one of the most competent mere mortals I'd met in years. He had a (small, girlie) gun, he had his wits, and he had … I don't know. Maybe a silver bikini under his commando-wear, for all I knew.

I can't place your accent." "Oh. I wasn't aware that I had one," I said coyly. I knew I didn't have one. I'd been in the Northwest long enough to have matched the bland diction that's so common there. Unless you want to argue that the absence of an accent is an accent in itself, in which case I'd have to kick you in the shins. And I can kick very hard.

We'll fix that," May declared. Libby giggled at her. "What? I totally mean it." "I know. That's not what's funny: Your accent came back hard-core." "Shut up! No, it didn't," May giggled back.

I suppose it's like newlywed sex. The first few years, you get busy anytime, anywhere, baby. But after a few anniversaries, you'd rather stay up and watch Leno.

I was a little shocked at how adult some of the humor was, because I was never that into animation before and when I watched 'Shrek' I really laughed out loud.

What mental hospital have you escaped from?" She wanted to laugh, but he looked so serious. "Prove you're an alien. Rip off your disguise. Show me your antennae. Where's your union card?

When you meet a man in the doorway of a Mexican restaurant who later kisses you while explaining that this kiss doesn't "mean anything" because, much as he likes you, he is not interested in having a relationship with you or anyone right now, just laugh and kiss him back. Your daughter will have his sense of humor. Your son will have his eyes.

I hope you will be surprised and knowing at once. I hope you'll always have love. I hope you'll always have a good sense of humour. I hope when people ask what you're going to do with your English and/or creative writing degree you'll say: Continue my bookish examination of the contradictions and complexities of human motivation and desire; or maybe just: Carry it with me, as I do everything that matters.

He was a nice guy, I decided, when I glanced at the bumper of his car. On it, there was a green sticker that said IMAGINE WHIRLED PEAS. Has there ever been a serial killer who imagined whirled peas?