Quotes About Humor

He tried to hold in the laughter that was brewing. At first he passed it off as a burp, much to Liz's disgust. Then another rumble he put down to hunger. And then, just as his laugh burst out to deny explanation, Liz started laughing as well.

London -- a place you go to get bronchitis.

I'm such a slow writer I have no need for anything as fast as a word processor. I don't need anything so snappy. I write so slowly that I could write in my own blood without hurting myself.

I think humor is warmer, and wit is colder. Wit is judgment, whereas humor invites some sort of response.

I'm a pretty funny guy, and I would love to do a comedy with a bunch of funny guys - movie-star guys, where they could help me through it.

I know I'm smarter than an armadillo

Like when people say they slept like a baby. Do they mean they slept well? Or do they mean they woke up every ten minutes, screaming?

Eve was sure he was saluted at birth by the obstetrician instead of spanked.

The only thing less secure than airplane Wi-Fi is running naked through Compton holding all of your money, jewelry, and credit cards in a baggie.

This is humor: A Japanese woman experiences discomfort in her eye, so she goes to see a qualified ophthalmologist. After a thorough examination, the doctor tells the Japanese woman that she has a cataract. She says, 'No, I don't. I have a Lincoln Continental.

That's what Lipitor is for," he said as they reached the Explorer. She opened the driver's-side door. "I'll be sure to remember that line for your eulogy. It will get a big laugh.

not that anyone was actually keeping one.

You look like you just gave a hobbit a hand job.

They have sex so loud it scares our dog. I wanted to call you about it, but my wife says it's not a crime. Is it?

There's nothing that funny about failure.

Elmo doesn't grow. People show him something and he laughs. He doesn't learn a lesson. It's the exact opposite of what old "Sesame Street" used to do. Elmo has been learning the same lesson his whole life, which is that Elmo likes Elmo.

Arigatou very much" he said. They often mixed up words in different languages as a joke. Book 3, p392

This reminds me of something funny Mama said the last time she came for a visit. I had taken her and the girls to an early morning swim meet, picking up some coffee and bagels on the way. Mama didn't say a thing when I bought the food, but the funniest look came over her face when she bit into her bagel. "Well!" she said. "Whoever thinks this is good has clearly never tasted a biscuit!

When I'm on a golf course and it starts to rain and lightning, I hold up my one iron, 'caus I know even God can't hit a one iron

In case of a thunderstorm, stand in the middle of the fairway and hold up a one iron. Not even God can hit a one iron

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

If you're caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

My wife tells me she doesn't care what I do when I'm away, as long as I'm not enjoying it.