Quotes About Humor

If I'm ever stuck on a respirator or a life support system I definitely want to be unplugged. But not until I'm down to a size eight.

Duffers who consistently shank their balls are urged to buy and study Shanks – No Thanks by R.K. Hoffman, or in extreme cases, M.S. Howard's excellent Tennis for Beginners.

He had however one great advantage over both his Pilgrim and Puritan enemies, for he wrote a narrative of his adventures in a reckless and amusing fashion of which they were incapable, and thus has kept the laugh forever on his side.

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.

Ha, ha, ha: love and scandal are the best sweetners of tea.

One fool at least in every married couple.

On his trip to the Hebrides with Boswell in 1773, he used the word 'depeditation' in reference to the actor Samuel Foote, who had suffered a broken leg. Like a Scrabble player, Boswell challenged this, and Johnson admitted he had made the word up, before adding mischievously 'that he had not made above three or four in his Dictionary'. Horace

Although a tirelessly productive author, Johnson considered himself disgracefully lazy—believing that only Presto, a dog belonging to his friend Hester Thrale, might truly be thought lazier.

he was able to laugh at his weakness for fiddly words. When he and Boswell were in the Highlands and passed through Glen Shiel, Boswell described a mountain as 'immense', but Johnson corrected him—'No; it is no more than a considerable protuberance.' NICETY     1.

Jane Collier's Art of Ingeniously Tormenting (a spoof conduct book published in 1753)

Anthropologist Mary Douglas (1991) examines the very thin line separating a joke from an insult: a joke expresses something a community is ready to hear; an insult expresses something it doesn't want to consider.

A sense of humor always withers in the presence of the messianic delusion, like justice and truth in front of patriotic passion.

Bachelors know more about women than married men if they didn't they'd be married too.

From CATS ARE KIND "A man said to the universe, 'Sir, I exist!' 'Excellent,' replied the universe, 'I've been looking for someone to take care of my cats.

I want someone who can sit me down, shut me up, tell me ten things I don't already know and make me laugh. I don't care what you look like, just turn me on. And if you can do that, I will follow you on bloody stumps through the snow. I will nibble your mukluks with my own teeth. I will do your windows. I will care about your feelings. Just have something in there.

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road.

Laughter is not a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is the best ending for one.

A person without a sense of humour is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road.

Humor is, however, nearer right than any emotion we have. Humor is the atmosphere in which grace most flourishes.

Some people are so dry that you might soak them in a joke for a month and it would not get through their skins.

Their is one advantage in a plurality of wifes; tha fite each other, insted ov their husbands.

I had rather be a pot-bellied seed cowcumber, flung carelessly on a wood pile to ripen, than tew be an old bachelor.

The grate desire ov mi life iz tew amuze sumboddy. I had rather be able to set the multiplikashun table tew sum lively tune than tew hav ein the author ov it.

The hardest thing that enny man kan do iz tew fall down on the ice when it iz wet, and get up and praze the Lord.