Quotes About Humor

Laughter is good for you. Nine out of ten stand-up comedians recommend laughter in the face of intense stupidity.

If you can't stop the bad thoughts from coming to visit, at least you can make fun of them while they're hanging around.

Harry, Bob drawled, his eye lights flickering smugly, what you know about women, I could juggle.

Murphy hung up and I said, to the still-open line, Hey, if you've got someone watching my place, could you call the cops if anyone tries to steal my Star Wars poster? It's an original. Then I vindictively hung up on the FBI. It made my inner child happy.

I've had a tense couple of days. And I've got to tell you, burning someone's face off sounds like a great way to relax.

There should be a rule against your own inner monologue throwing around that much sarcasm.

You're such a cynic, Molly said. I think cynics are playful and cute.

I'm dealing with a lot of scary things. I think you have to react to them. And you either laugh at them or you go insane.

Bite me, faerie fruitcake.

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but Chinese throwing stars get you a dozen stitches.

You need to know where to go,' Sanya said. 'Yes,' 'And you are going to consult four large pizzas for guidance.' 'Yes,' I said. ...'There is, I think, humour here which does not translate well from English into sanity.' 'That's pretty rich coming from the agnostic Knight of the Cross with a holy Sword who takes his orders from an archangel.' I said. - Harry Dresden & Sanya, Changes, Jim Butcher

The wacky thing about those bad guys is that you can't count on them to be obvious. They forget to wax their mustaches and goatees, leave their horns at home, send their black hats to the dry cleaner's. They're funny like that.

I'm brilliant as well as skilled, he said modestly. It's a great burden, all of that on top of my angelic good looks. But I try to soldier on as best I can.

Oh, what would you like on your vegetarian pizza? Dead pigs and cows, I said. She glanced up at me and wrinkled her nose. They're vegetarians, I said defensively.

Hell's bells. I don't call him the Fist of God as a pet name, folks.

Bring it, Darth Bathrobe!

Screw up my life? He stared at me for a second and then said, deadpan, I'm a five-foot-three, thirty-seven-year-old, single, Jewish medical examiner who needs to pick up his lederhosen from the dry cleaners so that he can play in a one-man polka band at Oktoberfest tomorrow. He pushed up his glasses with his forefinger, folded his arms, and said, Do your worst.

I stared up at the Erlking, and with my typical pithy brilliance said, Uh-oh.

Tavi grinned. Are you with me? The plan is insane, Ehren said. YOU are insane. He looked around the inside of the tent. I'll need some pants.

Thank God for wisecracks.

As in 'The Three Billy Goats Gruff'? The skull howled with laughter. You just got your ass handed to you by a nursery tale ? I wouldn't say they handed me my ass, I said. Bob was nearly strangling on his laughter, and given that he had no lungs it seemed gratuitous somehow. That's because you can't see yourself, he choked out. Your nose is all swollen up and you've got two black eyes. You look like a raccoon. Holding a dislocated ass.

I lunged, low and quick, and drove about a foot of cold steel into his danglies. Hey, I don't care what kind of fearie or mortal or hideous creature you are. If you've got danglies, and can loose them, that's the kind of sight that makes you reconsider the possible genitalia-related ramifications of your actions real damned quick.

Hush, Harry. Or you'll go to the special hell. I blinked at that, confused. I'm not supposed to be the guy who doesn't get the reference joke, dammit.

Men plan. Fate Laughs.