Quotes About Humor

I still can't believe," Michael said, sotto voce, "that you came to the Vampires' Masquerade Ball dressed as a vampire." "Not just a vampire," I said, "a cheesy vampire. Do you think they got the point?

Rip her dress off!" Bob shouted. Bob the Skull takes paperback romances very seriously. The next page turned so quickly that he tore the paper a little. Bob is even harder on books than I am. "That's what I'm talking about!" Bob hollered, as more pages turned.

Butters blinked at looked at Thomas. My God, he said. You've been shot. Thomas hooked a thumb at Butters. Check out Dr. Marcus Welby, MD, here. I'd have gone with Doogie Howser, maybe, I said. Split the difference at McCoy? Thomas asked. Perfect.

That's Doctor Smart-ass. I didn't spend eight years in insult college to be called Mister.

Somewhere out there was a village I'd deprived of it's idiot.

Bob, I said over my shoulder. Tell her it's me. Can't, Bob said in a dreamy tone. Boobs.

Man. Being mostly dead is hard on a guy.

Your face looks like a sack of purple potatoes

I kicked the door open, staff held ready to fight, and shouted, And I'm all outta bubble gum!

Speak for yourself," Murphy said. "I just gave my last grenade to a Valkyrie and ordered her to blow up a kraken. I'm having a ball.

My brother threw up his hands. What does a woman need to do, Harry? Rip her clothes off, throw herself on top of you, and shimmy while screaming, 'Do me, baby!'? he shook his head. Sometimes you're a frigging idiot.

There is, I think, humor here which does not translate well from English into sanity.

I flicked a comb through my wet hair, for all the good it would do, and said, How do I look? Mostly human, she said. That's what I was going for.

She was also mad. Loopy as a crochet convention.

I leaned closer and gave her the look I usually save for rampaging demons and those survey people at malls.

The water near me stirred and then a Sharkface rose up out of it as if on an elevator, slow, his mouth tilted up into a small smile. He stood there on the water perhaps five feet away from me. His eyeless face looked smug. Warden, he said. Asshat, I replied.

Because your balls are in a vise and I'm the only one who can pull them out," I said. He arched an elegant silver eyebrow. "Okay," I said. "That came out a little more homoerotic than I intended." "Indeed," said the Merlin.

Ohhhh," Molly said wisely. "Those are fun-time handcuffs, not bad-time handcuffs. I gotcha.

Where is your unit? Murphy asked. I wiggled my eyebrows at her. Right where it's always been, dollface.

With a sense of humor like that, you could make a living as a garbage man anywhere in the country.

Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day," I said. "But set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life. Tao of Pratchett.

I rode the dinosaur into the stream of zombies following in the Wardens' wake and let her go to town. Sue chomped and stomped and smacked zombies fifty feet through the air with swinging blows of her snout. Her tail batted one particularly vile-looking zombie into the brick wall of the nearest building, and the zombie hit so hard and so squishily that it just stuck to the wall like a refrigerator magnet, arms and legs spread in a sprawl.

I swear to you, by my own stunning good looks and towering ego, that I am not lying to you.

I blinked slowly at that notion. "A honeymoon free of your mother-in-law." "Worth more than gold or jewels," Hades said.