Quotes About Humor

I like shooting zombies," he drawled. "That's all. I got a patch and everything.

Bob somehow waggled his eyebrow ridges. "Hey, you never went out with Charybdis. What's the plan?

how the hell can he afford a lawyer?" "Maybe he's paying in sex." "I've met the guy. That transaction only goes the other way, believe me.

I laughed, and Sanya and I traded a hug, a manly hug with a lot of back thumping, which he then ruined with one of those Russian kisses on both cheeks.

He grunted. "You're trivializing what getting out for a bit means to me, Harry. You're insulting my masculinity." "Bob," I said, "you're a skull. You don't have any masculinity to insult.

It's not my fault all women like motorcycles, Murph. They're basically huge vibrators. With wheels. - Harry Dresden

All of this. For a guy with two sticks and a pair of yellow ducky boxer shorts, you must think I'm a real dangerous man.

You always a wiseass?" "No. Sometimes I'm asleep.

If you can't stop the bad thoughts from coming to visit, at least you can make fun of them while they're hanging around.

Everyone else who lets me ride on their dinosaur calls me Carlos.

Pussy," Murphy said. I blinked at her. She smirked. "Too good, couldn't resist.

Oh, what would you like on your vegetarian pizza?" "Dead pigs and cows," I said. She glanced up at me and wrinkled her nose. "They're vegetarians," I said defensively.

gave me a smile so wicked that its parents should have sent it to military school.

I choose to exercise my status as an apex predator. And I laugh in the face of cholesterol.

What's that all about?" "Don't ask me," I told her. "I'm gay now.

Kids. You gotta love them. I adore children. A little salt, a squeeze of lemon—perfect.

You got that paper cup? Right, then. All we need is a stuffed animal.' He stared at me. 'Wh-what did you say?' 'A stuffed animal, man!' I roared at him. 'Don't mess with a wizard when he's wizarding!

Damn," I mumbled, looking back at the spreading fires. "I'm kinda hard on buildings.

Maybe I'll bump into you again sometime." "I'd like that. Only next time without the gun." "One of those old-fashioned girls, huh?" I said.

Here's where I ask why don't you spend your time doing something safer and more boring. Like maybe administering suppositories to rabid gorillas.

I blinked at that, confused. I'm not supposed to be the guy who doesn't get the reference joke, dammit.

Sorry to spoil your man time, there, Hemmingway.

Mister Dresden. What happened to your face?" "It's always like this," I said. "I forgot to put on my makeup today.

Me and the Blue Beetle kick ass. In a four-cylinder kind of way, but it still gets kicked.