Quotes About Humor

I love being weird around people. I freak them out...it makes me laugh.

My iPhone suggests GPS when I'm trying to write GOD. I think we are finally synced.

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: - No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.

Don't go thinking you are the man of steel just because you had rust stains in your underwear.

Making self-deprecating jokes about your sex life is the fastest way to win a place in my heart.

I'm in such a self-deprecating mood right now, it's not even funny. Can I just step into oncoming traffic?

The trick...is to find the balance between the bright colors of humor and the serious issues of identity, self-loathing, and the possibility for intimacy and love when it seems no longer possible or, sadder yet, no longer necessary.

Humor explained is humor denied

I forgive Woody Allen for being overly zany and self-obsessed. We all have flaws, but we don't all make magic.

It is important to rely on your imagination for your sense of humor and your memory for your truths. Not the other way around.

My New Years resolution list usually starts with the desire to lose between 10 and 3,000 pounds.

The best way to tackle negativity is by laughing and being happy.

You're going to make mistakes. You're going to go about some things the wrong way. That said, be wise enough to hit the reset button and get over it quickly and make a joke out of it.

Laugh at your problems... everyone else does.

If you don't want a sarcastic answer, then don't ask a stupid question!

An important skill all leaders must have is a great sense of humor, humor keeps everyone at ease and break the ice between people. An effective leader must also be approachable and open.

1 + 1 = 3 if you don't use condom...

One should never use exclamation points in writing. It is like laughing at your own joke.

Here's my advice: Go ahead and be whacky. Get into a crazy frame of mind and ask what's funny about what you're doing.

Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.

ELEGY, n. A composition in verse, in which, without employing any of the methods of humor, the writer aims to produce in the reader's mind the dampest kind of dejection. The most famous English example begins somewhat like this: The cur foretells the knell of parting day; The loafing herd winds slowly o'er the lea; The wise man homeward plods; I only stay To fiddle-faddle in a minor key.

My advice, Be healthy, reach your own goals and don't be afraid to impersonate a SNL star...

Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice; Pull down your pants, and slide on the ice.

Chandler: I'm not so good with the advice... Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?