Quotes About Humor

Advice is sometimes transmitted more successfully through a joke than grave teaching.

I wouldn't give myself any advice, because advice is kinda bullsh... Take a deep breath and don't take any of it too seriously.

Please give me some good advice in your next letter. I promise not to follow it.

Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.

Girls fall in love with funny guys. Personality catches the heart. Not looks.

A girl should be able to make a guy smile without taking her shirt off.

When your girlfriend has Taylor Swift lyrics as her status. Either you've done something very right or very wrong.

Why are hoes like 'Oh, its winter, I need a boyfriend to keep me warm?' No bi..., buy a coat.

I'm not single. I'm just romantically challenged.

The awkward moment when your iPhone battery lasts longer than most relationships these days.

It's a real shame that vibrators can't kill spiders or mow the lawn.

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

Things seem a little prickly between the two comics. Stephen Fry is the next player out and the two of them end up in a cash game back at the hotel. I hear that Fry gets the better of Gervais again, is not above a few cheeky put-downs when he wins the pot, and Gervais snaps, 'I might be bad at poker, but at least I'm not gay.

Yeah, I'm kind of proud of myself, too. I was a fucking sex ninja .

Lori sat way back in her chair and gave him the once-over. "What in the world's gotten into Ben Lawson? jokes? Flirting? Maybe I should sleep with Molly. I think she's got a magic hooha.

We just went out for dinner. We didn't participate in a Roman orgy, I swear.

It wasn't funny." "Oh, mon coeur . It was the funniest thing I've ever heard." "Jude!" she cried, stomping her foot before she realized she'd done it. "I'd kiss you now if I wasn't sure that you'd bit me." She would. She'd nip that obnoxious smile right off his face. "Now I know why you're so good at it. Kissing. You've had loads of practice.

Buddies didn't have touchable breasts or intriguing vaginas. Buddies were people you burped around and bragged to about other women.

I like you, Miss York, because you are wicked, and there can be no finer blessing for a man than a good and wicked wife. Wouldn't you agree?

You know that's not what I mean! I just...I don't know what to do with men. I get nervous. I make too many jokes. I act like a kid sister instead of their fantasy sex machine.

Emma snapped from her daze. She sat forward and slid to ground so quickly that Hart was forced to scoot back.He fell to his backside, suddenly struck with the image of how he must look: sprawled on the floor with a cockstand, a pair of pink drawers in his fist. Utterly ridiculous. Corrupt. Depraved. Hart couldn't help but grin.

Good Lord, I'm not the Virgin Mary. If he's got a job and a penis, he's already halfway up my scale. And I don't really care about the job.

And judging by what she'd been saying when he walked in, she was also fond of penises. He really couldn't overlook such an important aspect of her personality.

And I suppose that's kind of poetic, because if you're going to get royally screwed, it might as well be on hump day.