Quotes About Humor

as the Charles Dickens formula for success has it: "Make them laugh. Make them cry. But, most of all, make them wait."6

Charles Dickens formula for success has it: "Make them laugh. Make them cry. But, most of all, make them wait."6 The

Nothing is more conspicuous than a farting princess.

I am not partial to folk who are grim and austere. I prefer fanciful folk who make me laugh.

Screenwriters? Schmucks with Underwoods.

As is often the case, the sole person not left speechless in awe by my brilliance is my own beloved wife.

He ate one of my bras." "Ah. I see. Which one?" "An underwire," she mumbled. "The black lacey one from Victoria's Secret?" She folded her arms. "That would be the one." Well, no one could fault the dog's taste, Gid thought. That stingy bit of lace had always looked plenty appetizing to him, too. He forced his mind back to the matter at hand.

Most wives think of their husbands as bumbling braggarts with whom they happen to be in love.

I think I'll get a nut roast. Maybe a nut roast is too lesbian?

An average guy makes a date with a girl. It costs him $100, $200. I make a date with a girl, it costs me nothing. I come up to her house. She wants to go out. I let her go! What's my business? I have to follow her around?

I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's ridiculous for different reasons at different times.

Brookfield High School. How may I direct your call? No, sir, this is not a waste- disposal unit, I'm afraid you have the wrong number.

You should have seen her this morning,' he said, smiling. 'She's got into the pantry and tipped a box of Cheerios all over the kitchen floor. I walk in and she's crawling around eating them as fast as she can. Mum's standing there, watching her - she got this embarrassed look when she saw me - she does, 'I know, I know, but I can't bring myself to stop her. She thinks she's hit the jackpot.

We stop at the door. I'm still smiling. 'Well, bye,' Noah says. 'Don't call us! We'll call you!' I say to Noah. And I shoot the air with cowboy guns. Noah blinks.

I hope you feel better today. Please ring me at work if you are dead.

Well, first you have to be very, very funny. I have realized that it is essential for a boy to be funny. Otherwise, what is the point in a boy?

The more I live, the more I think that humor is the saving sense.

For instance, a snob may claim that men dressing in drag and engaging in slapstick humor is beneath them, juvenile, base. Monty Python and the Kids in the Hall is lowbrow humor. But the same phenomena, namely, cross-dressing tomfoolery, is acceptable and high art if it's done by "The Bard.

Okay, so Malik had taped his nametag to his butt, but he was still standing in the witness box, ready to testify.)

Gingerly, Daniel reached toward the infant. "What if she doesn't like me?" "She'll spit acid in your eye and you'll die a horrible death," Kara joked.

She told him about tossing Bob's ashes in the deep fryer at the local restaurant. She stopped and asked him if he had ever in all his years as a minister ever heard of anyone doing that

Elsa's joke Where do baby apes sleep? In apricots!

I'm mostly laughing, because you're such an idiot.

Dad said Aunty Sue was a godsend. If that was so, I wasn't surprised. God was probably happy to have got rid of her.