Quotes About Humor

Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese.

Thank God I'm an atheist!

I'm still an atheist, thank God.

Sos tan alto que tu cabeza choca la luna de plata y desde abajito yo siento que no te lavás las patas.

Especially with a comedy, you've got the clear cut goal of trying to make a scene funny. It's not like drama where you're trying to achieve some kind of emotion or trying to further the story along. You're trying to figure out what's the funniest way to do something.

I am fat, lazy and kind.

Cat, gray tabby, calm, watches large, black ant. Man, rapt, stands staring at cat and ant. Ant advances along path. Ant halts, baffled. Ant back-tracks fast—straight at cat. Cat, alarmed, backs away. Man, standing, staring, laughs. Ant changes path again. Cat, calm again, watches again.

Tinha um velho que morreu agarrando o pinto, acho que ficou com medo da morte, o pobrezinho, tanto medo e na hora do medo agarrou o pinto. Foi enterrado assim.

The bus had a name too. Elaborately painted letters across the back declared it to be "Old but Sexy." It occurred to me that as I slipped inexorably into middle age, such a title might be the best I myself could hope for.

I sometimes lie awake at night trying to think of something funny that Richard Nixon said.

Humor is such a wonderful thing, helping you realize what a fool you are but how beautiful that is at the same time.

If I didn't try to eavesdrop on every bus ride I take or look for the humor when I go for a walk, I would just be depressed all the time.

I listen like mad to any conversation taking place next to me just trying to hear why this is funny. Women's restrooms are especially great. I wash my hands twice waiting for people to come in and start talking.

Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fishburger and I realize, Oh my God. I could be eating a slow learner.

Jerry Ford is so dumb he can't fart and chew gum at the same time.

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read "President Can't Swim.

Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize Oh man....I could be eating a slow learner.

He's [Gerald Ford] a nice guy but he played too much football with his helmet off.

Ah, Seregil," Kari exclaimed, wiping her eyes with the corner of her apron. "I've never known anyone who could get himself into such messes, and then right back out again!" "It would have been considerably more difficult if Alec hadn't been such a faithful defender of my virtue." Seregil gave Alec a courtly nod. "My lady," Alec murmured, rising to give him a bow of such elaborate solemnity that they all burst out laughing again.

I am a connoisseur of fine irony. 'Tis a bit like fine wine, but it has a better bite.

I don't know why you're enjoying this so much." "Because I am a connoisseur of fine irony. 'Tis a bit like fine wine, but has a better bite.

Did you hear about the Scottish drag queen? He wore pants.

Now, Doc—" "Yes, Shiloh?" She interrupted with exaggerated sweetness, and fluttered her eyelashes. Shiloh grinned. "I dunno, I musta gone crazy there for a minute. I was actually going to try to talk you out of something. But don't worry, I'm okay now.

Romance of Reynard the Fox