Quotes About Humor

Would the tragic comedy of memory ever stop replaying?

But after a moment, Bella's eyes began to drift over Jacob's body and the nature of her thoughts changed significantly, punctuated by a sexy, mischievous smile. "Want to make love to a basketball?" she invited. Jacob threw back his head and laughed, all painful memories banished in an instant, minimal feelings in the face of his beloved's wink and smile.

A ta place, je tournerais la langue sept fois avant de parler, répliqua-t-il, une pointe d'espièglerie dans les yeux. - Dans ta bouche ou la mienne? Il se redressa et haussa un sourcil, l'air surpris. - Isabella, serais-tu en train de me faire du charme? Celle-ci poussa un long soupire théâtral. - Pas très subtil, hein?

Alors les coudes sur la sainte table le Diable regarde Dieu en face avec un sourire de côté et il fait du pied aux anges et Dieu est bien embêté.

Don't tell my mother I work in an advertising agency — she thinks I play piano in a whorehouse.

Kyle agreed. "It would be too weird to see you in makeup and heels and all that hot stuff." "But you just said guys like that," Hannah said. "Right," Paul agreed. He stuck his fork back up his nose and added, "But guys are idiots.

Would you call me 'excessive'?" Madison asked Piper. "Not to your face," Piper replied.

As she cut across the parking lot, Madison was nearly mowed down by an ice blue BMW. Reed Rawlings was the madman behind the wheel. He screeched to a stop right in front of her. "Reed, are you trying to kill the competition?" she shouted. "Is that your strategy?" "Not a bad idea," Reed said, laughing as he rolled down his window. "Wish I'd thought of it.

El mundo es un moco -dice él, contento. - Yo pensé que era un pañuelo -lo corrijo. - Ni siquiera es tan grande, amigo. Es el moco del pañuelo.

A veces se da uno cuenta, repentinamente, de que la vida es torpe y vacía, y se echa uno a reír

A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. "Did you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too."

A lady came up to me on the street and pointed to my suede jacket. 'You know a cow was murdered for that jacket' she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too.'

Oh for God's sake, Jack, lighten up. You know the old saying. Every man loves the smell of his own farts." In

If you're going to fight, fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp to Noah's Ark. And brother, it's starting to rain. — on a t-shirt being sold by a Bangkok street vendor

Never kick a cow turd on a hot day. Harry Truman said that. Words to live by.

If I can't joke about imminent death, then I might as well just resign.

Talking to that fool is like trying to put socks on an octopus!

Given time, a ship's crew will attach sexual innuendo to anything. It makes their jobs more exciting.

A cape?" CeeCee said. "What kind of a moron wears a cape? Oh, &%$#!

BERNIE BRILLSTEIN: O'Donoghue had the best line about the Muppets. He used to say, "I won't write for felt.

ALAN ZWEIBEL: We worked on "Update" up to the very last minute. Between dress and air on Saturday nights, I would go up to my office and I would watch the eleven o'clock news and if something hit me, I'd write it and it would be on television a half-hour later. You know, there were two shows where I was literally under the "Update" desk writing stuff and handing it up to Chevy while he was actually on the air.

Big Angel had never noticed his mother's endowment before. Suddenly, she seemed to be blessed with an expanse of pillowy flesh. And she tucked the parrot into that cleavage, adjusting herself as it sank from view, finishing the operation by using her thumb on its head to get it well positioned in the shadows. She adjusted her bust and said, "Let's go to San Diego, boys!

Better a gringo than a dead man," the lieutenant sighed, smoke escaping his nostrils. "Barely! But, yes, hell yes.

Age is something that doesn't matter unless you're a cheese