Quotes About Humor

It is more worthy in the eyes of God . . . if a writer makes three pages sharp and funny about the lives of geese than to make three hundred fat and flabby about God or the American people.

Is there a cookie at the end of this lecture? ... I got a cookie after all ... Dear god, the cookie was poisoned.

someone was telling me that no more applications were being accepted for the position of God.

If you want to make god laugh, make a plan.

It's a humorous statement that doesn't mean anything. You can't lie to God - it's ridiculous.

God's jokes are the soul's curriculum.

I feel like [God]'s hazing us.

God Almighty Himself must have been hilarious when human beings so mingled iron and water and fire as to make a railroad train!

I am an atheist, thanks be to God.

Being made merely in the image of God but not otherwise resembling him enough to be mistaken by anybody but a very near sighted person.

Satan probably wouldn't have talked so big if God had been his wife.

God howls with laughter at earthly plans, you know?

I'd like to thank God for making me an atheist.

Garcia wondered why people with JESUS stickers on their bumper always drove twenty miles per hour under the speed limit. If God was my co-pilot, he thought, I'd be doing a hundred and twenty.

My mom, God rest her soul - she liked nicknames. In the womb she named me Skip. There was another black guy in Piedmont, W.Va., and his name was Skip. They called him Big Skip, and I was Little Skip.

If God makes all our faces, did he laugh when he made me?

I could become like that dyslexic agnostic in the old joke - the one who lies in bed and tries to figure out if his dog exists.

I want to kiss God on His nose and watch Him sneeze and so do you. Not out of disrespect. Out of pique. Out of a man-to-man thing.

God, that Anthony Jeselnik Show sounds really funny.

I yield to nobody in my admiration for God, but he's no good in bed.

I felt very close to God.... My friends say that's because I was always on my knees.

Down deep in His heart God is a comedian who loves to make us laugh.

They say God laughs when you make plans, that's why I make appointments and sometimes reschedule.

Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is.