Quotes About Humor

I swear to God, if I get shot again, Indigo will strangle me.

A lot of times people come up to me saying 'oh my god you can see,' and they think they're the first person to think of that joke, but they're probably the 10,000th one to say that joke.

I was raised Catholic in Rockford, Illinois. But I'm not a practicing Catholic anymore. Oh God, no.

If people are standing up there saying, my football team just won with help from God, then obviously God just pissed over the other team.

I've always figured that if God wanted us to go to church a lot He'd have given us bigger behinds to sit on and smaller heads to think with.

I remember, growing up, if something big - God forbid - happened, the first jokes you heard on the subject came out of Jersey.

The saint is hilarious when he is crushed with difficulties because the thing is so ludicrously impossible to anyone but God.

Whenever I walk off the golf course, I thank God that I'm able to tell a joke. I thank God I'm good at something.

No one's laughing at God -We're all laughing with God.

I think Jesus was a bit more of a fun guy. I'd like to play Him like maybe some days He doesn't fancy it, being God. Some days He's miracled-out and just wants to go have a smoke.

I can deal with fighting in the arena in Hell, but laundry and dishes put the fear of God in me.

I looked around at us all: me in my nightgown, Kiyo bare-chested, Dorian in his extravagant robes, and Tim in his Native getup. God, I muttered, standing up, we all look like the village people.

Oh God. She probably thinks we were off doing—you know—romantic type, um, things—

Apollo?" I guessed… He put a finger to his lips. "I'm incognito. Call me Fred." A god named Fred?

Ptah? son of ptooey? What is he god of spitting? i asked

Oh, god," I said. "Sorry, sorry. Do I die now?" --Sadie to Zia

Thank you God for making me an atheist.

I remember Tucker Toomey was named so because "T's are funny!" And if Garry Marshall says it's funny, by god, it must be so.

I don't suppose God laughs at the people who think He doesn't exist. He's above jokes. But the devil isn't. That's one of his most endearing qualities.

Australians, we've got a very healthy sense of humor in us. God forbid we take ourselves too seriously so it's kind of a cultural trait.

One of the lambs fixed its attention on Jared. "Baa," it flirted. "Boo," said Jared. "Oh my God, Jared. Don't tough-talk the lambs." "It was giving me a funny look.

If my Catholic boyfriend and I ever have a kid, we'll just be honest with it. We'll say that Mommy is one of God's chosen people, and Daddy believes that Jesus is magic!

God plays pranks and directs.

Domestic rabbits don't have the sense that God promised animal crackers.