Quotes About Humor

Love is blind, there was no doubt about it. In Tara's case it was also deaf, dumb, dyslexic, had a bad hip and the beginnings of Alzheimer's

I rang my mother to thank her for giving birth to me and she said, "What choice had I? You were in there, how else were you going to get out?

Chick Lit uses humor to reflect life back to us. It's a very comforting genre, and it's the first time our generation has had a voice. It's a very important genre for all of those reasons.

Among animals, one has a sense of humor.Humor saves a few steps, it saves years.

We are suffering from too much sarcasm.

We stared at each other for a moment, then burst into laughter that must have scared off every nonhuman animal for half a mile around.

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.

Frankly, I don't see the advantage being gargantuan will get me, not when I have to run errands around people I know." "Yeah, that might be a problem. Scaring the mailman won't win you any favors around town." Caitlyn grinned. -Kelly & Caitlyn

Nothing more resembles a tomcat on a windowsill than a female cat.

Dorothy Parker once said: I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid." Upon delivering this Dot bon mot, with much waving of sparkly rings and jingly bracelets, Constance Langtry comments that she'd add a fourth: "Deft tongue. And I don't mean a good talker.

Humor and laughter - not necessarily derogatory derision - are my pet tools. This may come from my general philosophy of never taking the world too seriously - for fear of dying of boredom.

This fitness thing is blown out of proportion. What am I going to do on a treadmill - smoke a cigarette and drink a diet Coke?

Accidentally consumed five biscuits when I wasn't paying attention. Those biscuits are wily fellows - they leap in like sugary ninjas

Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.

I am pushing sixty. That is enough exercise for me.

I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.

I get my exercise acting as pallbearer to my friends who exercise.

Actually the best thing I did was to get thrown out by my wife. She's living with a fitness instructor. He drinks that yellow stuff in tins. He's an idiot.

I'm so unfamiliar with the gym, I call it James!

Don't be fooled. I kept all my workout clothes in that top hat.

Well as for Ian Rush, he's perfectly fit, apart, that is, from his physical fitness

She had...the glimmerings of a sense of humour - which is simply another name for a sense of the fitness of things.

You know what it was like? It was like thinking I was heading to a surprise party and instead it was a surprise pap smear.

If it were legal, I'd marry food.