Quotes About Humor

Instead of jumping at the chance to be offended, choose to be amused. Rather than filling your thoughts with resentment, fill your heart with forgiveness.

The man who thinks his wife his baby his house his horse his dog and himself severely unequalled is almost sure to be a good-humored person.

I'm not an alcoholic, I am freedom fighter against the teetotal taliban.

Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable.

Creator: A comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh.

The thing is this: You got to have fun while you're fightin' for freedom, 'cause you don't always win.

Hotels are the only proper places for lecturers. When I am ill-natured I so enjoy the freedom of a hotel where I can ring up a domestic and give him a quarter and then break furniture over him.

I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.

Friends are just enemies who don't have enough guts to kill you.

A good laugh makes us better friends with ourselves and everybody around us.

He hasn't an enemy in the world - but all his friends hate him.

Friends buy you lunch. Best friends eat your lunch.

Shared laughter creates a bond of friendship.

She lives in Mojave in a Winnebago. His name is Bobby, he looks like a potato.

I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.

She's a warm fart at Christmas.

Heart and humor and humility, he said will lighten up your heavy load.

Wit is a dangerous talent in friendship.

If it is abuse, - why one is always sure to hear of it from one damned goodnatured friend or another!

My friend Winnie is a procrastinator. He didn't get his birth mark til he was eight years old.

Laugh at your friends, And if your friends are sore; So much the better, You may laugh the more.

Your pot belly, I'd give that a 10 for size.

She's been there for me in a lot of ways, and she really is just the most dependable and loyal and funny as all get out. I mean, she just cracks me up. Constantly.