Quotes About Humor

I bet dying vultures have lots of awkward moments with their friends. - Guy Endore

I sew his ears on from time to time, sure.

I'm physically completely mal-coordinated. My best friend used to make me run for the bus just to give herself a quick, cheap laugh because I definitely don't have that sophisticated cool thing down.

Thanks from keeping me from being a liar," said Nikolai. "What?" "About your having diarrhea." "For you I'd get dysentery." "Now that's friendship.

Let us never adopt the maxim, Rather lose our friend than our jest.

I know a lot of funny people in a lot of funny places.

We all need a laugh and I guess you're just the one.

Friendships founded on laughter are always fortuitous.

One out of four people in this country is mentally imbalanced. Think of your three closest friends and if they seem okay then you're the one.

With friends like you - who needs enemas.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.

If the physical thing you're doing is funny, you don't have to act funny while doing it...Just be real and it will be funnier

Do you think pandas know they're Chinese and they're taking the one child policy a bit too seriously?

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

If any of you cry at my funeral I'll never speak to you again.

I've been to the Leaning Tower of Pisa. It's a tower, and it's leaning. You look at it, but nothing happens, so then you look for someplace to get a sandwich.

An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.

You should always go to other people's funerals, otherwise, they won't come to yours.

I'm too drunk to taste this chicken

It will be funny in about 10 years.

Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.

You think you're funny! You think you're funny Cena, huh? The only pose you're going to be doing tonight is lying on your back with me on top!

You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby drowned in a tub... and you definitely don't know anything about how to wash a baby.