Quotes About Humor

I'm the youngest in my family and everyone is very funny, and I was always trying to keep up with them. I just loved making people laugh.

So there I was lying in the gutter. A man stopped and asked '"What's the matter? Did you fall over?" So I said "No. I've a bar of toffee in my back pocket and I was just trying to break it."

Nothing is funnier than unhappiness.

You can't really be strong until you see a funny side to things.

A comedian's body is funny as well as his mind being funny, his whole personage is funny.

I drink therefore I am.

Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.

I like all Jim Carrey films. They're really funny.

Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you.

I'm one of those guys like whatever the situation is, as long as people are cool and everybody is trying to be funny, I have a good time.

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.

If you don't do a lot of stupid things while you're young, you won't have funny things to talk about when you're old.

Humor comes from self-confidence.

Self respect gives us true awareness about ourselves and is the foundation for self-love. When you are not in denial about yourself and know who you are you can accept yourself more. Try to keep a sense of humor, compassion, and love and respect towards all. Don't hold anything back from yourself as the relationship with yourself is the most important.

Dignity means that an individual feels self-respect and self-worth. Self respect gives us true awareness about ourselves and is the foundation for self-love.Try to keep a sense of humor, compassion, love & respect towards all.

Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts.

I'm gonna go stand outside. So if anybody asks, you can just say I'm outstanding!

Best Friends: They know how stupid you are and still choose to be seen with you in public.

I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.

The reason so many people turned up at his funeral is that they wanted to make sure he was dead.

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

I went to see my doctor with a nasty pain in the ass. Turns out he's already met my wife.

Since it started raining all my wife has done is look through the stupid window. If it gets any worse I'll have to let her in.