Quotes About Humor

Health food makes me sick.

Is she fat? Her favorite food is seconds

Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.

Sales man: You got time for lunch? Homer: Yeah..but I usually have 2 or 3. Salesman: You like thai? Homer: Yeah, ya like shirt?

Mother Nature clearly intended for us to get our food from the patty group, which includes hamburgers, fish sticks, and McNuggets- foods that have had all of their organs safely removed.

My idea of feng shui is to have them arrange the pepperoni in a circle on my pizza

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Wit is the salt of conversation, not the food.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose

My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'

Wal-Mart: The only place on earth you can get a haircut, eye exam, ice cream sandwich, tires for your car, and witness a real life what not to wear episode...

You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.

When I was a boy, my mom wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. In a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead. Happy Mother's Day!

Laughing is the best medicine.But if you're laughing for no reason, you may need medicine.

All sincere boys fall in love with stupid girls, all sincere girls fall in love with stupid boys, I am neither stupid nor sincere, that's why I am 'SINGLE'.

Life can be funny and serious. We either laugh over it or cry over it. But Life itself doesn't care about such reactions. It goes on.

Apparently beer contains female hormones. After you drink enough you can neither drive nor shut the hell up!

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no body to go with.

I don't believe in being serious about anything. I think life is too serious to be taken seriously.

Boy walks in to class room: Teacher: Why are you late? Boy: I saw a sign on the way to school. Teacher: What did the sign say? Boy: School ahead slow down.

If you're sad about being alone on Valentines Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

My girlfriend said she wanted me to be more like her Ex. So I dumped her.

Scared the postman by going to the door naked. I'm not sure what scared him more, my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived.

I'll be your friend till the episode comes in which Tom finally eats Jerry!