Quotes About Humor

I did mostly good things, except light things on fire.

Not to mention our former tag team champions lost their titles after my good friend Christian was hit in the genitals with a hockey stick by a midgit! I mean enough is enough

The cook was a good cook, as cooks go; and as cooks go, she went.

I like a man who can be a real friend, has a good sense of humor, a good pair of shoes and a healthy gold card.

I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food.

In school, I wasn't a very good student - I was very irresponsible and never did the studying but always liked to get the laugh.

My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.

In the most commonplace, tiresome, ridiculous, malicious, coarse, crude, or even crooked people or events I had to seek out rare things, good things, comic things, and I did so.

Good-humor will even go so far as often to supply the lack of wit.

I do like to shock and surprise people. When it's all in good fun, of course.

No nice men are good at getting taxis.

I quit because I'm so tired of hearing bad news about cigarettes... Even if they discover good news, they don't publicize it - like the fact that smoking seriously reduces the risk of jogging.

Each of us as he receives his private trouncings at the hands of fate is kept in good heart by hearing of the moth in his brother's parachute and the scorpion in his neighbor's underwear.

A good friend helps you up when you fall, a best friend laughs in your face and trips you again.

With Clinton, there's no question that I would have made fun of his out-and-out lying. But he's also a good friend.

My husband says it is very good that I have very tiny feet, because they're easier to get in my mouth.

I laugh almost everyday. I have a good sense of humor, so I'm always finding something funny.

Moms Mabley said you have to say good things about the dead. I say, 'He's dead. Good.'

Being told that you are good at banter is like being told that you are a good person.

Epitaphs are cheap, and they do a poor chap a world of good after he is dead, especially if he had hard luck while he was alive. I wish they were used more.

Having a beard is a good way to make your face more susceptible to velcro.

Jack Del Rio and myself are very similar except he's really good looking and was a great player. Other than that, we're very similar.

A good laugh is the best pesticide.

I have joked before that there is a good chance that I might retire before Tendulkar.