Quotes About Humor

I stay fat because it just wouldn't be fair to all the thin people if I were this good-looking, intelligent, funny, and thin. It's a public service really.

I admit that when the facts are not good enough, I always exaggerate them.

Tongue; well that's a wery good thing when it an't a woman.

I used to play bass for a while and got to the point where I was good enough to be in a shitty band.

I'm not going to pay good money to join a club that lets in people like me.

Good news. President Bush is creating thousands of new jobs. Unfortunately, all of them are at the White House.

There are very few good judges of humor, and they don't agree.

Friendship is an island that you retreat to and you all fall on the floor and laugh at all the other ninnies that don't have enough brains to have your good taste.

Writing a funny story is one thing. But writing a funny story that inspires others to venture beyond their level of comfort in pursuit of their greater good is what makes me come alive.

I mean I can do it when I'm very relaxed, and with good friends, then I think I can be amusing.

He was currently wondering vaguely who Moey and Chandon were.

In addition to comedy, I'm a writer. I write checks. They're not very good.

It is possibly worth mentioning at this point that Mr. Young thought that paparazzi was a kind of Italian linoleum.

I don't think people are fools, and I think they deserve a good attitude and smart entertainment.

Bob Dole used to be really funny. Barney Frank can be kind of funny. Bob Kerrey has a good sense of humor.

There's such an odd, eclectic group of people that make up the town of Plymouth, New Hampshire. I don't think I could avoid not coming out of there with a pretty good sense of humor.

All my jobs have been with food in one way or another since 1948. My parents were in the hotel business, and I just loved the warm hearted people who worked so hard with such good humor.

I'm good at coming up with wacky characters and funny dialogue.

My parents are both really, really funny, and my little sister is a really good painter, and my other sister is a really good writer.

I'm a fabulous date, I make sure I look good, I like hearing what a guy has to say and I make sure the evening is a real laugh. I like to laugh.

My father and I have a very good relationship. We always got along. But I always scold him.

All I want to do is be a good dad, but I'm pretty bad at it.

Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.

Tabloids can be fun. I see stuff sometimes and have a good laugh.