Quotes About Humor

A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

Well, someone slap my butt and give me a hero cookie. (Nick)

What's that?" he asked, when I stood beside him again."Halos, " I said with a grin. "For heavenly creatures like us.""That might be a stretch.

Shane dragged Eve's suitcase into the room and dumped it on the floor beside her bed. "Hey, Dark Princess? Here's your crap. Also, bite me.

Mal snickered. "What's so funny?""I just pictured the Darkling being cornered by a sweaty duchess trying to have her way with him.

Why are you wearing a T-shirt under your other T-shirt?" Livvy asked."In case one of them is stolen, " Marked said, as it were entirely normal.

Vic knelt by Lucas's side. 'You look like crap, by the way.''Thanks for breaking it to me gently.' Lucas took a deep breath, then groaned.

Does it hurt?"He bent his head and lightly kissed her forehead. "Only when I laugh.""I'll try not to be funny.""Epic fail, beautiful.

If god meant for people to talk into cellphones, he would've put our mouths on the side of our heads.

Yes, I'm back, " he said, "And look who I ran into."Horace grinned at him. "i hope you ran into him hard.""As hard as I could.

I felt my cheeks turn red, and she laughed out loud. But I didn't mind too much, because the last thing she saw was my middle finger aimed in her direction as I stepped outside

The Doctor: I've seen bigger.Clara: Really?The Doctor: Are you joking? It's massive!

Who are you and how did you get in here?" "I'm a locksmith. And, I'm a locksmith.

Was it animal pee or human pee? Someone asked.How would I know? What, am I an expert in the study of pee?

You can't just call the Praetor. It's not like 1-800-WEREWOLF.

Want a little cheese with that whine, maestro?

I wish my nose would blow me for once.

Any other iron on you?" he asked impatiently."Just my tongue stud."His look was a mixture of curiosity and horror."I'm kidding, you idiot. Let's go.

Yes she met with a slight accident involving a stake." Ash said "funny how that happens sometimes...

I've been thinking of installing a train in my house. It could bring me shrimp crackers from the kitchen.

What is it? Tens, I can see the stick up your arse from here. I'm dying remember? Dying people don't have time for silly moods

Cole, for Christ's sake, will you stop staring at me like I'm beefcake of the month?

This is the biggest damn IPod I've ever seen, " Claire said, which made him choke on his beer. "Kidding. I have seen a jukebox before.

I happen to be a fantastic kisser. Sadly, you will never get to find out.""Never say never, " he answers in a singsong voice."Thanks for that, Justin Bieber. But yeah, not going to happen, dude.