Quotes About Humor

He looks like a horse in a man costume!

I'd rather be ignored as a frog than eaten as a human.

I don't have a car."His eyes sliced into mine. "I walked here, " I explained. "I'm on foot.""Angel, " he said in a way that sounded like he sincerely hoped I was joking.

If heaven was created only for the most stupid clown, then Mr Bean could have been the only righteous man on earth.

Why would a comediotic guy like Buzz Aldrin worry about who said what first? He was on the %$#@!+-oon!

I was shy, " said six-foot-one of bashful male. He grunted as a sharp, feminine elbow thudded inconspicuously into his side.

Do you think ladies' eyebrows can communicate as well?" she asked."No, they don't have sufficient thicketry, " he said with authority."Thicketry?""Yes, that is the official term.

I get a kick out of cursing people for life on Sundays.

Kind of a bummer, getting your butt kicked by a dead guy.

All he'd done was lose her underwear and practically get her blown up.Hell. This had to be the absolute worst first date of her life.

Wine is to women as duct tape is to men - it fixes everything

You can call me Grandpa, if that does it for you.

So you're her brother?" says Lynn. "I guess we know who got the good genes."I laugh at the expression on Caleb's face, his mouth drawn into a slight pucker and his eyes wide.

You hate birthdays yet pee your pants over presents. There is clearly something wrong with you, " Garrett joked.

If I had to pick another career, I'd be an optometrist for potatoes. That's where the money is.

Boyfriend?"Her cheeks heated. "Yes.""Funny name.""What?" She frowned. "Ernest is a perfectly nice name.""Oh, I thought I heard you call him Ermine.

Even-money that my liver lasts through my wife's metamorphosis to my mother-in-law.

I hope the next time you get a double-decker strawberry ice-cream cone the ice cream part falls off the cone and lands in Australia.

You're boring me, M'Ordant. Go away." V'Aidan"You can't be bored." M'Ordant"And a good thing, too, since I'd no doubt perish from it while in your company." V'Aidan

Buffoons may have serious faces behind their mask!

You look worse today than you did when you had two blackeyes.""Why, thank you, Tyler. You always say the sweetest things.

There really isn't much use in getting into a pissing contest since I have to sit down to pee anyway.

I'm the master of distractions. A couple of hand gestures and BAM! I'll pull the underwear clean off your butt.

I can't believe that out of a hundred thousand sperm you were the quickest.