Quotes About Humor

My balls feel like a pair of maracas.

Especially when you deal with comedy, you have got to be really honest because it's the honesty and the spontaneity that causes people to chuckle, that catches people.

I like the honesty of standup comedy. People don't fake laugh. If they're truly laughing at you, you know they like you.

I realized, dumb people don't know they're dumb. When people try to make me laugh and they try to be funny, that's when they lose me. I find a lot of comedy in honesty.

When I swore that you're getting more and more beautiful everyday. Well, I was only kidding, honey.

You want to be entertaining to some degree. But honesty is always entertaining to me.

Satire today has become a flat 'tyre'.

I'm lucky I'm a comedian, 'cause otherwise my life would just be a series of undocumented low points.

When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.

Anybody wants to call me the Triple H of Ring of Honor, I think that's hilarious. I would prefer to call Triple H the CM Punk of the WWE.

Weep not for little Leonie, abducted by a French Marquis. Though loss of honor was a wrench, just think how it's improved her French.

I cannot wait to go get my fried butter on a stick, and fried cheesecake on a stick and...Twinkies, especially in honor of those who would rather just be forced to eat our peas.

You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.

In the early days all I hoped was to make a living out of what I did best. But, since there's no real market for masturbation I had to fall back on my bass playing abilities.

When I die, I hope they don't cremate me 'cuz I'll burn forever.

Mad, is he? Then I hope that he will bite some of my other generals!

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August.

I don't want anything bad to happen to the United States, but if North Korea ever drops a nuclear bomb on this country, I swear to God, I hope it lands in Hartford.

So I hope that there are people out there laughing. Laugh loud, please. Laugh until your lungs give out because I will have the last laugh.

The doctor looked my body over. I said: Is there any hope? He said: Yes. Reincarnation.

There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.

I was doing the family grocery shopping accompanied by two children, an event I hope to see included in the Olympics in the near future.

I feel bad sometimes because I secretly hope New Orleans gets nailed again.

I laugh because I must not cry, that is all, that is all.