Quotes About Humor

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat

People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'

I put fruit on top of my waffles, because I want something to brush off.

I don't trust anyone who doesn't laugh.

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.

One of the things that binds us as a family is a shared sense of humor.

Going round and around inside a dryer can be fatal, whereas pasta is rarely fatal. Unless Isabelle makes it.

Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.

I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one.

Canoe + waterfall = I don't go camping anymore.

All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I'd be standing on the breadline right in back of J. Edgar Hoover.

Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

I have been accused of being a joker. But the most successful art to me involves humor.

Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus or just a really cool opotamus?

Cancer is probably the most unfunny thing in the world, but I'm a comedian, and even cancer couldn't stop me from seeing the humor in what I went through.

I worked in a health food store once. A guy asked me, 'If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?

So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.

Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.

If you've got the comedy eye, you can look at any situation and see the humor in it while others don't.

I had a polynomial once. My doctor removed it.

You look as scary as a buttered muffin.

The best humor is offered up to you by the stupidity of your opponents.

Charm is the enchanted dart, light and subtle as a hummingbird. But it is deceptive in one thing: like a sense of humor, if you think you've got it, you probably haven't.