Quotes About Humor

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

Not being funny doesn't make you a bad person. Not having a sense of humor does.

Does God have a sense of humor? He must have if He created us.

I don't make mistakes. I make prophecies which immediately turn out to be wrong.

After making love I said to my girl, "Was it good for you too?" And she said, "I don't think this was good for anybody."

After I told my wife that black underwear turned me on, she didn't wash my Y-fronts for a month.

There are things that are so serious that you can only joke about them.

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.

I could not tread these perilous paths in safety, if I did not keep a saving sense of humor.

My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality.

Humor was a good way to hide the pain.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.

Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense.

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?

Was Einstein's theory good? Relatively.

My dog is half pit bull, half poodle. Not much of a watchdog, but a vicious gossip!

There are many things we can live without but a sense of humor is not one of them!

Don't run I never liked fast food

I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer… but no one will do it.

Humor is... despair refusing to take itself seriously.

God likes a little humor, as is evidence by the fact that he made the monkeys, the parrot -- and some of you people.

The funniest people I know always seem to be the ones surrounded by darkness. And that's probably why they're the funniest. The deeper the pit, the more humor you need to dig yourself out of it.