Quotes About Humor

If Spiderman was real, and I was a criminal, and he shot me with his web, I would say, "Dude, thanks for the hammock."

Humor was another of the soul's weapons in the fight for self-preservation.

There are just certain things that turn my head. It may be a girl's sense of humor, it may be her wit, or her belief system; it could be a lot of different things.

Next to power without honor, the most dangerous thing in the world is power without humor.

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster.

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of a trick learned while mastering the art of living.

You can accept that things are awful and still have a sense of humor about it.

Wit and humor belong to genius alone.

I pulled the boy close to me and said you see that girl, thats my only lil girl. So if you think about huggin or kissin. Remember these words. I aint afraid to go back to prison.

I only dated one Asian girl, but she was very Asian. She was a panda.

Another term for balloon is bad breath holder.

I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

Walt is dead. And, after a couple of hours at Epcot, you'll wish you were, too.

If I didn't have a sense of humor, how could I stand this trial now?

I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'. So I said, 'oh, that's OK, I'm not going that far.'

A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, 'Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?' I said, 'All right, but we won't get much done.'

Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs.

Good humor and laughter are far too wonderful not to come straight from the heart of God.

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.

I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died."

Seriousness is a sickness; your sense of humor makes you more human, more humble. The sense of humor - according to me - is one of the most essential parts of religiousness.

I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same.

There's a fine line between masturbating while you look out a window, and masturbating while you're looking in a window. I'll give you a hint: one of 'em is super illegal.