Quotes About Humor

For Christmas one year I bought my son a BB gun. He bought me a t-shirt with a bulls eye on the back.

I think we're losing our sense of humor instead of being able to relax and laugh at ourselves. I don't care whether it's ethnicity, age, sexual orientation, or whose ox is being gored.

You know the animal that kills the most people in the world? The Hepatitis Bee.

It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it.

I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor; they sent a priest up to talk to me and he said, ' On your mark...'

All those who believe in psychokinesis - raise my hand.

The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.

Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.

People are always surprised when they see me speak live that I have a sense of humor. And I say, Well, you know, there's not much opportunity to laugh when you're reporting the dread news of the day.

The Trump Card is appealing, grounded, smart, and has a sense of humor. Ivanka Trump proves that believing in yourself and working hard never go out of style.

When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

I wish I had AIDS so I could bite somebody.

From New Year's on the outlook brightens; good humor lost in a mood of failure returns. I resolve to stop complaining.

Humor is the foundation of reconciliation.

I had these slinky eyes and a sense of humor.

All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.

God has a most wicked sense of humor.

(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?

Bad humor is an evasion of reality; good humor is an acceptance of it.

I lived with a guy who had OCD and I used to put Rice Krispies in his slippers before I went out. He went mental, but not before he counted them all.

I'm not a traditional politician, and I have a sense of humor. I'll try to soften it and become boring, maybe even very boring, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to.

One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her "you cooked it, you take it out".

If its tourist season, why cant we shoot them