Quotes About Humor

After I die, I shall return to earth as a gatekeeper of a bordello and I won't let any of you enter.

Humor is important in everything. Dress with a little humor and you can go a long way.

A good since of humor and someone who is loyal and cute-I like cute girls

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.

In the name of the Pizza Lord. Charge!

I think God has a tremendous sense of humor.

There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.

To my mind, a well-developed sense of humor is the surest indication of a person's humanity, no matter how black and bitter that humor may be.

Humor - it helps to make the vibe better - it loosens up the vibrations.

In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh.

I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I said, 'I am.'

I have no problems with buying tampons. I am a fairly modern man. But apparently they're not a "proper" present. "Happy birthday, mum!"

My legacy would be that you don't have to give up anything. You can be chic but have a sense of humor, you can be sexy but comfortable, you can be timeless but fresh.

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.

I was in the Far East and I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus and the waiter said: "It takes four hours." I asked why and he said: "It keeps turning off the gas."

My grandfather invented the cold air balloon... But it never really took off.

Humor is one of the elements of genius--admirable as an adjunct; but as soon as it becomes dominant, only a surrogate for genius.

Wit and humor do not reside in slow minds.

My socks DO match. They're the same thickness.

I've just finished my book, I wrote it on penguins. Come to think of it, paper would have been better.

Do you ever do something, and then think to yourself: That's So Raven?

The source of all humor is not laughter, but sorrow.