Quotes About Humor

Unlikely things to see in a Valentine's card - "I may be dyslexic but that doesn't mean I don't vole you."

When my daughter was born she had jaundice, she was small, round and yellow. we called her Melony.

I can't decide whether to commit suicide or go bowling.

I got arrested for playing chess in the street. I said, it's because I'm black, isn't it.

So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.'

Generosity, to be perfect, should always be accompanied by a dash of humor.

Unfortunately for a multitude of occultists, humor is a rare ingredient in their lives. In fact it is their very lack of humor that has impelled them into the arcane and esoteric.

One loses everything when one loses one's sense of humor.

I think animal crackers make people think that all animals taste the same.

Went to the paper shop - it had blown away.

Thank God you've got a sense of humor, or you'd be in trouble.

I'm so lazy I've got a smoke alarm with a snooze button.

I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.

Humor was an antiseptic that cleaned the deepest of personal wounds.

Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce?

Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. "Is this yours?" she asked "probably" said Paddy "she burns everything else"

I actually pay careful attention to that sort of thing - infusing humor into my films - because that's how important I think humor is.

A spoonful of humor makes the message go down easier.

Nothing is more curious than the almost savage hostility that Humour excites in those who lack it.

Comedy is so hard to do, so it was very cool to do dead pan humor.

Do married people live longer than single people or does it just SEEM longer?

My wife went into the butchers and said: "You've a sheep's head in your window." The butcher said: "That's a mirror."

Does anyone find it ironic how a program aimed at old people is called 'Countdown'?

Ultimate seriousness in not without a dose of humor.