Quotes About Humor

They had joked together as young men that they planned to die before their wives; it was the best way, since neither man could imagine life without them.

She says she's too old to fight and too fat to run, so she just has to rely on her good nature to survive.

Ten Basics for Implementing Positive Discipline 1. Create a connection before a correction. 2. Get children involved: a. Offer acceptable choices. b. Provide opportunities to help. 3. Create routines. 4. Teach respect by being respectful. 5. Use your sense of humor. 6. Get into your child's world. 7. Follow through with kind and firm action: if you say it, mean it, and if you mean it, follow through.

El humor es una de las mejores y más disfrutables herramientas de crianza.

I had ordered long legs, but they never arrived. My eyes are weird too, one is gray and the other is green. I have a crooked smile and my nose looks like a ski slope. No, I would not win a Miss contest.

I love doing comedy. Absolutely love it. After 'Wedding Crashers ' people suddenly realized that it was something I could do.

people without sense of humor aren't much fun to be around, no matter how far they've gotten.

There's a rumble in your tum, That makes you feel glum, Diarrhea, Diarrhea. There's a feeling in your rear, That fills you with fear, Diarrhea, Diarrhea. Then it comes out of your bum, Like a bullet from a gun, Diarrhea, Diarrhea. Discovered and remastered by Max Tew and Seb Howarth

All of a sudden there was a scampering sound. A small furry hand grabbed my food. The hand had fingernails just like mine, and they were just as dirty. The monkey-thief was fast. He didn't even look back as he shot back up the tree to enjoy my lunch. Another rhesus monkey reached into my day-sack, and cantered away awkwardly with a bigger prize.

Shit is another useful word. Also very common. For example, pleasantly surprised? You say 'No shit?' You think someone tells you tales, you scoff 'You're shitting me.' You find something you like very much, you exclaim 'That's good shit!

The chip on my shoulder's a little heavy. I have back problems now.

I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person-as the people in this room will attest.

Even near the end, his sense of humor was still there. As I said in the memorial service, Robyn, Stan, his wife Ruth, and I were all in Isaac's hospital room the day before he died. I said to him, 'Isaac, you're the best there is.' Isaac smiled and shrugged. Then, with a mischievous lift of his eyebrows, he nodded yes, and we all laughed.

Well … when do you want to get married?" "Tomorrow." She burst out laughing again. "How about next spring?" "How about later this week?" "A Christmas wedding, then." "Thanksgiving." "But that's only two weeks away!" "Two damn long weeks, if you ask me.

Thanks so much. You really came through." "I like protecting you from lecherous mattress salesmen. You don't need to thank me," he joked. "How about a kiss instead?" Linc was taken aback. He opened his mouth, too surprised for a second to say yes. No never entered his mind.

We don't appreciate the value of humor sometimes.

I think that some books are more successful than others to certain readers. People who read my books for the humor, they're going to love one book. People who read my books for the mystery, they might not like that book quite as much.

You can get through very serious and sometimes horrible and sometimes embarrassing and very awkward situations with humor. It gives us a way out.

I attributed the incidence to temporary insanity, and in my own defense, I'd like to say I haven't run over anyone since.

I wasn't dating anyone. I was fornicating with Batman.

How many times have I told you not to hit people in the face. You kick them in the body where it doesn't show.

Some men go a lifetime and never have their kid blow up a car, but I have a daughter who's knocked off three cars and burned down a funeral home. Maybe that's some kind of record.

I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum

Blew it up his nose. That woman should have cards printed: 'Dr. Evan Wilson, Imaginative Medicine a Specialty.