Quotes About Humor

There are qualities to richness we all have to develop on our own. Money cannot buy a man a pleasant sense of humor, money will not make a man behave decently, and money cannot teach a man how to treat others with dignity.

Keep your sense of humor, and approach new experiences with a childlike sense of wonder. Allow your creativity to flourish and accept the mistakes that will inevitably come. Embrace unfamiliarity and give yourself the grace to find your footing.

Old writers never die, they just decom-prose!

The day of the wedding went like these things generally do, full of anxious moments interspersed with black comedy.

They should change "Happy New Year" to "Ha Ha! You Think This Year Will Be Different but Don't Fool Yourself—You're Still a Kid.

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.

When I buy cookies I eat just four and throw the rest away. But first I spray them with Raid so I won't dig them out of the garbage later. Be careful, though, because that Raid really doesn't taste that bad.

What was God thinking when he created a guy this handsome? He wasn't a gift to womankind, he was a torture device.

No wonder he has such nice teeth. They probably pay him in dental floss.

A few moments later Mom opened my door and peered in at me. "Logan Hansen is here to see you." If it had been anyone else in the world, I would have told my mother to send him away. Santa Claus himself could have shown up to explain his whereabouts since my childhood, and I would have turned him out.

As if finding a guy to solve your problems isn't a contradiction of terms.

May your troubles be as few and as far apart as my grandmother's teeth. Irish proverb

An elderly man called Keith Mislaid his set of false teeth— They'd been laid on a chair, He'd forgot they were there, Sat down, and was bitten beneath. Irish limerick

May those who love us, love us. And for those who don't love us, May God turn their hearts. And if he cannot turn their hearts, May he turn their ankles, So we may know them by their limping. Irish saying

Were you going to tell me you usually kiss your one-night trollops in private?" He laughed. The free-ringing sound held a spark of pure pleasure, unforced and rich with surprise.

Life is a mighty joke that is not meant to be funny."

The bat hanging upside down laughs at the topsy-turvy world.

Binkie, the one and only. He can hear her rings clacking on the plastic phone, and he chuckles, envisioning with amusement the bejeweled and suntanned manicured grip his grandmother thinks she has on his balls. And she does.

Kysymys : Miksi on enemmän kaneja kuin oravia? Vastaus : Yrittäisit itse nussia puussa.

If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.

She gave me money to buy condoms, and instead I bought a book of baby names. That's life. That's love. That's fiscally irresponsible.

I once saw a snake having sex with a vulture, and I thought, It's just business as usual in Washington DC.

I want to lose weight by eating nothing but moon pies, which have significantly less gravity than earthier foods such as fruits and vegetables.

It's absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food.