Quotes About Humor

I'm filthy stinking rich - well, two out of three ain't bad.

What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?

Oh yeah, I'm mentally screwed up for life. But I look good.

I've got an air mattress for a bed...really living the high life.

Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.

when michael jackson died i wonder if his life flashed before him and if it did, i wonder if he thought 'who's that little black kid singing my songs?!'

Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.

I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed.

Life is short. You have to be able to laugh at our pain or we never move on.

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

I can't imagine a life without humor. Especially if you have an existential understanding of life, you must acknowledge the absurdity of it all.

An insult comic is the title I was given. What I do is exaggeration. I make fun of people, at life, of myself and my surroundings.

There are three things in life which are real: God, human folly and laughter. Since the first two are beyond our comprehension, we must do what we can with the third.

ROPE, n. An obsolescent appliance for reminding assassins that they too are mortal. It is put about the neck and remains in place one's whole life long.

I'm a big believer in, no matter what you go through in life, as long as you can laugh your way through it, you're going to be okay.

My father once told me, and it's stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.

I'm a downer. I've been depressed my whole life. Figure it out.

Old age is life's parody.

Joe Torre, who switched to first base because he didn't want to go through life as Chicken Catcher Torre. Never got a dinner!

My life is part humor, part roses, part thorns.

You have to have a sense of humor about life to get through it.

Apart from death and taxes, the one thing that's certain in this life is that I'll never be a fashion icon.

Laughter is life-giving. It makes you breathe.

Aspirin will not bring dead hookers back to life.