Quotes About Humor

I can eat a man, but I'm not sure of the fiber content.

I can't watch other people doing comedy. As soon as somebody starts being funny I have to turn off because it upsets me. I get comedy indigestion. I just hate anybody else being funny. That's my job.

As a five-year-old in Berlin in 1965, I didn't know that funny women existed. It wasn't until I got back to England that I realised women could be funny.

After graduating from flares and platforms in the early 1970s, I started drama school wearing a pair of khaki dungarees with one of my Dad's Army shirts, accessorised by a cat's basket doubling as a handbag. Very Lady Gaga.

I didn't fall for you, you tripped me!

Smirking, he says, "Whatever spell you just tried to cast on me, it didn't work, so I think you need to go back to Hogwarts.

Chuckling, Josh backs away. "I'll leave you to Cressida and Noel then." To his back, I call out, "For your information, it's Nigel!

I'm wearing a tuxedo." I nearly choke. "A what!" "A tuxedo. With matching Converse." "Over my dead body!

I love your dress!" Kendra says to me. "Thank you!" I say. "It's vintage." She recoils in real horror. " Oh my God. Are the nineties considered vintage now?" Trina says, "Yes, girl. Their nineties are our seventies." She shudders. "That's terrifying. Are we old?" "We're geriatric," Trina says, but cheerfully.

Peter grabs my hand mid-swat and says, "Wanna hear something funny?" "What?" "I think I started liking you.

Wanna hear something funny?" "What?" "I think I started liking you.

What would you do if I got pregnant right now?" "Lara Jean, we're not even having sex. That would be the immaculate conception.

As I walked away, I heard the girl ask, "Is she your girlfriend?" I whirled around, and we both said "No!" at the same time.

You should definitely frame the picture too, so people know you're not someone to mess with. A frame says permanence. A picture taped on a wall says here today, gone tomorrow." I chew on my bottom lip thoughtfully. "So maybe a picture of me baking, in an apron--" "With nothing underneath?" Chris cackles, and I flick her forehead lightning quick. "Ow!" "Get serious then!

He grinned at her which made me want to choke on my asparagus.

In movies they never put on a condom, so make sure you're in real life for that part.

She laughs a husky laugh, the sexy kind that only smokers or people with colds get to have.

I don't know why I'm sitting here trying to give you advice. I'm a single divorcee and I'm forty. Two. Forty-two. What do I know about anything? That's a rhetorical question, by the way.

I hurry over to John and Stormy. Stormy beams at me. "Doesn't she look like an absolute doll ?" She swans off. With a straight face John says, "Lara Jean, you're an absolute doll.

and it was so funny I nearly peed my pants?

Peter's smiling, and he looks like he's about to crack a joke, so I swiftly add, "Or any other body part.

I bit my lip to keep from saying, You have allergies, not swine flu.

Laugh hard at the absurdly evil.

My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away.