Quotes About Humor

Life is a comedy when watching and a tragedy when experiencing. I try and share anything I have.

If Life is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?

I had enough brain to live a stupid life.

So long as you have courage and a sense of humor, it is never too late to start life afresh.

A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch.

If beer got any lighter you could raise goldfish in it.

My focus is to forget the pain of life. Forget the pain, mock the pain, reduce it. And laugh.

Perhaps the way to succeed is to think of life on Earth as a colossal joke, a creation of such immense stupidity that the only way to live is to laugh until you think your heart will break.

Sometimes I wonder what my grandfather would think of what I do, he spent his whole life in the kebab business, was buried with all his equipment, probably turning in his grave.

Have a sense of humor about life - you will need it. And be courteous.

The way I see life, it's like we're all flying on the Hindenburg, why fight over the window seats?

The profoundly humorous writers are humorous because they are responsive to the hopeless, uncouth, concatenations of life.

It's okay to laugh you know. The earth is not going to split open. You're not going to hell. Believe me.

The thing is, there are good days and bad days. I feel almost guilty saying they aren't all bad. Something catches me off guard—a TV show, a funny one-liner from my dad, a comment in class—and I laugh like nothing ever happened.

The first thing I learned from Judy Blume was that God is the wrong one to ask for bigger breasts. (Stephanie Lessing)

putting beginning walkers in a "falling cap" or "pudding." So named for its resemblance to black pudding, this was a sausage-shaped padded roll that went around the head and was kept in place with a chin strap. Having seen the pictures, I have to wonder if parents used them because they kept children safe or because they looked hysterical. They eventually disappeared, but left a linguistic remnant in the term of endearment puddinhead.

The condom broke. I know how stupid that sounds. It's the reproductive version of the dog ate my homework.

The way my luck is at the moment," said Polly, "I probably will get a tiny bit of money back, and as I leave the bank after picking it up, a bolt of lightning will come out of the sky and set it on fire. Then a piano will fall on my head and knock me down a manhole.

No, I would say they are more arseholey than you.

JOEL!' 'Sorry . . . that must make me sound like a dickhead.' 'I can't remark professionally on that,' said Mark as Marsha nodded emphatically in the bed next to him.

Well?" "He's a very handsome man," said Lorna. "You'll have to keep him out of Inge-Britt's clutches." "She smells of bacon," said Flora petulantly. "Oh yeah, men hate that," said Lorna.

Hello!" barked Dr. Joan Davenport. Lissa frowned slightly and felt her heart rate jump up and her nerves pile in. "Um," said Lissa. "Are you Alyssa Westcott?" "Um, Lissa?" Joan looked like she couldn't care less about that. "Well, you're my charge, it appears. I did ask for a boy." Lissa was confused. "Just my little joke! Never mind! Nobody reads, I get it, I get it.

Hye Evans? That fat old fool," said Lilian. "That man couldn't diagnose a nail sticking out of your leg if you turned up with a nail sticking out of your leg, saying 'Doctor, I just accidentally hammered a nail into my leg.

I know," he said in a bewildered tone. "I know youse all think I'm an ancient fuddy-duddy from the dawn of time." "Why would we think that, Dad?" said Innes. "Just because you are an ancient fuddy-duddy from the dawn of time.