Quotes About Humor

As was often the case, Magic just chuckled and kicked physics in the balls, leaving it groaning and wondering what just happened.

Isaac, tell your girlfriend she can't bring weapons into holy-shit-your-spider's-on-fire!

Instead of Debbie Does Dallas, we get Gandalf Guts Goblins.

I have seen John Scalzi's pose-off picture. There are no words. There is only inarticulate whimpering.

Behind every great man there is a woman rolling her eyes.

Behinf every great man there is a woman rolling her eyes.

150 people die every year from being hit by falling coconuts. Not to worry, drug makers are developing a vaccine.

My focus is to forget the pain of life. Forget the pain, mock the pain, reduce it. And laugh.

Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.

I got a lot of support from my parents. That's the one thing I always appreciated. They didn't tell me I was being stupid they told me I was being funny.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

when things are really bad the only thing to do is laugh

If done right, kidnapping can be a positive experience for everyone.

The modern world was a burning bus speeding toward a cliff with a maniac at the wheel. And he was not apart, but complicit, a hyperactive child making yuk-yuks in his seat, keeping everyone laughing, distracting them from certain doom. Faster, faster, no more room to brake.

Shit my pants, see how long it takes them to notice.

It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. – Rita Rudner

An elephant says to a camel, 'Why are your boobs on your back?' The camel says, 'That's rich, coming from someone with a dick on his face.

Love is all fun and games until someone loses an eye or gets pregnant.

Nothing spoils lunch any quicker than a rogue meatball rampaging through your spaghetti.

Good morning is a contradiction of terms.

you're a mess now, but you'll be laughing about it in fifty years.

Don't you know that I laugh because it is my last defense against tears?

Thanksgiving. It's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. "Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?" "But we do that every day!" "Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?"

I married a woman who loves to camp, and I am what you would call "indoorsy"... My wife always brings up, "Camping's a tradition in my family." Hey, it was a tradition in everyone's family 'til we came up with the house.