Quotes About Humor

I stood up, and my pants ripped completely across the seam. It was inevitable, but for once in my life, my timing had been decent.

No one would have disputed [Ruth Bader Ginsburg's] intellect and seriousness, but the woman who wore her hair pulled back tightly in a short ponytail had a soft voice and had trouble looking people in the eye. She was also known for being so serious that as a youngster her daughter, Jane, made a booklet called 'Mommy Laughs' that recounted the rare episodes when her mother revealed her sense of humor.

A joke a day may not keep the doctor away, but there is good scientific evidence that laughter actually brings forth the relaxation response.

When the heart is open, good humor flows and the ego's rigidity melts like snow in the sun.

I think it has something to do with being British. We don't take ourselves as seriously as some other countries do. I think a lot of people take themselves far too seriously I find that a very tedious attitude.

One rule: Never let your husband see you exercising. No woman rolling around on the floor looks really adorable after she's passed her third birthday.

I think there's nothing better than laughing in life, so that's nice, to be thought of as someone who can make someone laugh. It's 'cause I think life is hard. You know, my dad was a really silly man. A great Irish silly man. And that's fine.

Nos, én azt vallom, hogy akár táncolunk, akár nem, bohócok vagyunk, úgyhogy ezzel az erÅ'vel akár táncolhatunk is.

Sometimes she talked like a poet; she made a little joke of it, so that you wouldn't mind.

And also, you've been stuckoo on an islandoo for a long time with only beardedoo guys who talkoo funny and bowoo down to you," Hades said, and then laughed. "That's gotta get boring after a while.

It's easier to sit there and say you don't like feminists because they don't have a sense of humor.

The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.

I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.

If you don't yell during labor, you're a fool. I screamed. Oh, how I screamed. And that was just during the conception.

Don't cook. Don't clean. No man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum - "My God, the floor's immaculate. Lie down, you hot bitch."

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.

Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.

Never floss with a stranger.

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.