Quotes About Humor

I have a "carpe diem" mug and, truthfully, at six in the morning the words do not make me want to seize the day. They make me want to slap a dead poet.

Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat.

I have this horrible sense of humor where I think discomfort is funny - partly because I experience discomfort a lot, and it's a way of laughing at it and getting a release.

P.S. Please give my love to Tink, she always was such a funny little bug

Others wonder, if the Bogey isn't wearing his pants, who is?

P.S Please give my love to Tink. She was always such a funny little bug.

She looked at Murphy, whose crazy brown hair leapt out of her cheap wool hat like snakes in a trick can of nuts. Then she winked at Judge Abbott as if they were in on some private joke. "Murphy, you should come in for a cut before your interviews start." Murphy squinted at Lucretia with exaggerated concern. "Do they do waxing? It looks like your mustache is growing back.

He'd try to keep it light. "Kate, if you're going to call my border collie your baby every time you see her, maybe we should marry and make the poor dog legit.

Suddenly, the gods have stopped saying yes and have started making really obnoxious farting noises. In my face. With their armpits.

July 4th, (ie, time to celebrate our freedoms as Americans by eating hormone-laden farm animals and blowing shit up) -Geena (Triple Shot Betty)

Child, I have been around a lot of years, and if you don't laugh, you cry.

Hurray', shouted Glokta. 'Porridge again!'He looked over at the motionless Practical. 'Porridge and honey, better than money, everything's funny, with porridge and honey!

A few glasses of wine can be the difference between finding a man a hilarious companion or an insufferable moron.

Would it help if I said I was very drunk? Brachio shook his head. - We all were. -Shitty childhood? -Mummy used to leave me in a cupboard. -Shitty adulthood? -Whose isn't?

If you wanted to see my cock that badly, you could just have asked.' 'No doubt a thing o' haunting beauty but i came for something else.

Conscience and the cock-rot are hardly equivalent,' snapped Lorsen. 'Indeed,' said Cosca, significantly. 'The cock-rot is rarely fatal.

We came across a rucksack, wedged in among the coral. It was fastened up, but it seemed to have been invaded by some weird fluffy white sea creature that was trying to get out. "What's that ?" said Arnie, poking it. Miranda and I took a second look, and started to giggle. "It's tampons," I said. "Expanding widthways when wet—" "Yecch!

Just be careful," a Seattle homicide detective warned. "Maybe we'd better know where to find your dental records in case we need to identify you." I laughed, but the words were jarring; the black humor that would surround Ted Bundy evermore begun.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die." —MEL BROOKS

Because of my underpants?" Ivan asks. "Chiefly because of Pontius Pilate." [from Bulgakov's The Master & Margarita ]

You're considerate and funny and you're a lover out of my dreams. Should I develop a taste for luxuries- which I may well do after this week- you're so plump in the pocket, you wouldn't notice if I started buying gold-plated underthings." His smile was uncertain, nonetheless it was a smile. Her churning misery eased a fraction. "I'd notice anything you did with your undergarments, amore mio.

Lord Lyle paused at the top of the steps and glanced around the massive space with its hammer-beam roof sporting angels with the Warren shield—three gold swans on a blue background. His expression was a mixture of awe and amusement. "Good Lord, lassie, I feel like Henry the Eighth." She bit back the impulse to say that even if he took six wives, Charlotte Warren still wouldn't count among their number.

In order to satirize adequately, I think you need to bring people down to Earth and be like, 'Yeah, these people drink coffee and have tummy troubles and they go to the bathroom like anybody else, and they all have relationship problems, if they even have relationships.'

Remember, men need laughter sometimes more than food.