Quotes About Humor

Too many people confuse being serious with being solemn.

How to defend yourself against a banana

Laughter is a force for democracy.

Sarge, mr. Nurd here is threatening to turn me to jelly." "really?" said Sarge. "what flavor?

You want to know what's on the other side?' Walsh eyed the detective carefully, as if gauging the seriousness of the question. 'Is it seventy-two virgins, like the Muslims believe?' 'That's the good news. The bad news is that they're all guys. It's like being at a boarding school.' 'I knew there had to be a catch.

It was the kind of bar where everybody knew your name, as long as your name was 'Motherfucker'.

I don't think you can dial 911 for a literary emergency.

If you really want to annoy someone, you can make little inverted commas by holding up two fingers of each hand and twitching them gently, as though you're tickling an invisible elf under the armpits. For example, when your mother calls you for dinner, and dinner turns out to be boiled fish and broccoli, you can say to her, "Well, I'll just eat my 'dinner', then," and do the little fingers sign. She'll love it. Seriously. I can hear her laughing already.

She laughed loudly. It sounded to her husband like someone pushing a witch in a barrel over a waterfall. He pictured his wife in a barrel falling into very deep water, and this cheered him up a bit.

gags old before they were told

Christ's humor is always redemptive, never mocking the individual. But He is sharp and sarcastic in His derision of those institutions such as Pharisaism, which posture in their self-made self-importance. Wisdom

I remember once acting really cool on a bus with this girl named Stephanie. When I got home, I realized that I had a really big zit on my forehead. If you have acne problems, you really shouldn't be acting like Don Juan.

A man who could make so vile a pun would not scruple to pick a pocket.

Puritans don't laugh—except at the sight of a burning witch.

Much malice mingled with a little wit.

One day the good times had to keep on rolling, and all of life's horseshit would turn to circuses.

All comedians are preoccupied with one thing and with one thing only-themmm-selllves. It's a horrible lot in life.

I do good things in my life, too. It's just that none of them are funny.

I will always have enough money to last the rest of my life...as long as I don't buy anything.

Life isn't all beer and skittles; few of us have touched a skittle in years.

I don't think of myself as being funny. But life takes strange turns.

A friend of mine jokes that I have a painstaking royalty complex. Like maybe I was a duke in a past life.

Monty Python: A documentary series on everyday life in Great Britain.

He (Don Drysdale) talks very well for a guy who's had two fingers in his mouth all his life.