Quotes About Humor

Oh yeah, this was so comforting. Like a porcupine in a condom factory.' (Danger)

So why did you get shot? One of your witticisms go awry? (Nekoda)

He wanted to work in Hot Woman Valhalla until he died of testosterone poisoning. (Nick)

Bubba there zombies.....and there trying to eat me! -Nick Gautier

Kiara having a sever panic attack.) Kiara? Hauk wears women's underwear. (Nykyrian) Come again? (Kiara) Hauk wears women's underwear. Pink and really girly. You know, one of those skimpy things that tucks into the crack of his fat ass. (Nykyrian)

Yes, and for the record, he thinks you're insane, too. (Otto) Oh, goodie. But I guess that's only fair since I think he's psychotic. (Susan)

Yeah, but I don't want to be in pain, and I definitely don't want to suffer." – Nick "Well…The only way to avoid them is to die." – Death "Okay, let's change the topic now. Oh, look! A chicken." – Nick

Shut up. Asshole. (Shahara) I live for your endearments. (Syn)

Kitten, when did you get so tall? (Ravyn) I grew while you were in the bathroom. (Erika)

Holy green guacamole! (Selena)

I swear if that's a pair of demon horns digging into my belly and stabbing me right now, Ash, I'm going to beat you after it's born. 'Cause face it, horns on the head didn't come from my side of the family or genetic code.

But you're human, aren't you? (Kat) I'm human, except when I first wake up in the morning. Even I don't want to be around myself then. (Kish)

You want me here. (Artemis) Yeah, like an alien rectal probe up my sphincter.' (Acheron)

No offense, but I'm getting stir-crazy. Can we please go downstairs and hang in the bar or do anything that keeps me from sitting here bored out of my mind while the three of you watch me grow eyebrow hair? I mean really, I am fine. I'm not going to spontaneously combust or do anything else freaky. Promise. (Tory)

I need dating advice. Fast." Ash arched a single brow at that. "I'm useless. I've never been on one." The three human men turned to gape at him. "What?" Ash asked them defensively. Nick started laughing. "Oh man, this is priceless. Don't tell me the great Acheron is a virgin?" Ash gave him a droll look. "Yeah, Nick. I'm lily-white.

It wasn't a gun wound. I just fell. (Zarek) No offense, but you'd have to fall of Mount Everest to have those kinds of wounds. (Astrid) Yeah, maybe next time I'll remember to take my climbing gear with me. (Zarek)

So how do you know him? (Shahara) I knocked on his door one day and said, 'Hi, I'm here to rob you. Hope you don't mind. Oh, and by the way, will you be my friend?' (Syn)

My friend died. (Astrid) Died how? (Zarek) Mmm, he had parvo. (Astrid) Isn't that a dog's disease? (Zarek) Yes. It was tragic. (Astrid) Hey! I resent that. (Sasha) Behave or I will give you parvo. (Astrid)

What the hell? We're all screwed up some way. At least you bathe and I don't have to fight you for chicks. In my book, that makes you all right.

You want something to drink?" – Nick "Human blood would be fabulous. But since I doubt you're donating, let me suffer for a minute longer." – Caleb

So what's it to be, Bear? Dev lifted his leg and gave a sarcastic slap to his thigh. By golly, I'll take door number two, Bob. You know the one that calls for straight suicide with a side of mutilation and pain? Sign my hairy ass up for that and don't be late.

Are you always this random? (Jericho) Mostly. It really irritates Noir. Which is just an added bonus for me. At least so long as I can outrun him. (Asmodeus) Add me to that list of people you annoy. (Jericho) Oh. You're not going to singe my testicles over it, are you?! (Asmodeus) No plans to. (Jericho) Good. We can be friends, then. (Asmodeus)

Vik is our– (Devyn) Man-bitch. (Sway)

I mumble hocus-pocus and the next thing you know, I'm a cat. (Ravyn) I suppose it's a step up. The last guy I had in my house could only turn into a beer-drinking pig. (Susan)