Quotes About Humor

And you, Kibbles, had better lay off me. One more growl and I swear I'm going to geld you with a spoon. (Zarek)

And I've been your monkey ever since. (Vik) Nah. You're not my monkey, Vik. You're my bitch. (Devyn) Of course I am. And I'll remember that the next time your shower door is stuck and you want me to open it…Wait. That does make me your bitch, doesn't it? Damn, I'm whipped. (Vik)

I'd rather have my eyes gouged out. (Urian) If I do that, can the Simi eat them? (Simi) You have to share if you do! (Xirena)

All right, two dozen house specials. Any chance one of you might want to live dangerously and try a vegetable? (Aimee) Do we look like rabbits to you? (Fury)

I love you, man. You rule! Thanks for the food. It touches me deep in my tender place. (Sway) I don't want to know nothing about your tender place, you freak. (Devyn)

you're so full of shit, you ought to be a cow manure

Greetings, O Great Gazoo. How nice of you to join us here on planet Earth again. (Cael) Thanks, Barney. How's Betty and Bam Bam doing? (Acheron) Great, if I could only get them away from Wilma and Pebbles. Those women are nothing but trouble. (Cael) Nah, they're good women. It's the ones in red who are always the downfall of good men. (Acheron)

Akri infallible. Well, except for a couple of things, and we don't talk about those 'cause it makes akri cranky. I like that word 'infallible.' It just like me. Infallible. (Simi)

His mother hesitated before she continued grilling him. "Is he a good boy?" "No, Mom, he's Satan incarnate. In fact, once it's over, we're going to get liquored up and tattooed, then find some cheap hos and have a good time with his trust fund." Caleb laughed.

She's best friends with my wife. (Julian) Gracie? You're married to Gracie? That was you? You're Mr. Hot Bottom! (Sunshine)

I fell out of the hammock while I was sleeping. (Arik) On your head? (Geary) Apparently. Good thing it's hard, huh? (Arik)

Aimee pulled him to a stop. Thank you, Xedrix. I really appreciate this. Really wish I could say the same. Damn bears, getting demons killed. What did we ever do to you? Kyle let out a nervous half-laugh. Well, you did try to eat me. Xedrix scoffed. Man up, Kyle. We only took one small bite.

Even though Styxx was taller, Galen had carried him off the field of battle and held his hand the whole time they'd closed the wound. "Squeeze when it hurts, and don't worry about breaking anything, Highness. Trust me, if my deceptively strong Thia wasn't able to break it during her childbirths, there's no damage you can do. And at least you're not threatening to cut off my balls, fry them up, and feed them to me.

That was you who hit me with the float? (Talon) Yes. (Dionysus) Damn, boy. You've fallen a long way down. Yesterday Greek god…today incompetent float driver. (Camulus)

So what do we need to do? (Kat) One: Don't die. Two: Don't get bitten. (Sin) And? (Kat) Kick their ass. (Sin) Good plan. Little vague on the details. (Kat) Isn't it, though? (Sin)

Don't worry, Chris. The day that Sony PlayStation attacks the world and threatens to destroy it, we'll give you a call. (Katra)

I swear you're a woman. (Devyn) I would respond to that, but I don't want to distract you while you're attempting to drive and I'm dependent on you for my life. (Sway)

You're so hilarious. You know, if this whole Daimon-slaying gig doesn't work out for you, you should really consider being a comedian. The bright Barney hair color would just add to the overall entertainment factor.

Why would you do that? (Delphine) Why do you think? (Jericho) Because I'm a bossy hag and you'd rather be enslaved to a man you hate than deal with me. (Delphine) You know…you're not funny. (Jericho) I think I'm hysterical. (Delphine)

Oh, baby, this ain't asshole. Trust me. There's a whole keg of asshole I haven't even begun to tap yet.

Fine, just don't eat my mom, okay? She's had a bad enough life without becoming the Bride of Dracula." – Nick

Someone needs to take that stick out of your ass and beat you with it

Don't you two girls have something better to do, like pick out toe lint? (Acheron)

I can tell you love him. (Syn) Yeah, like a boil in my nether regions. (Kiara)