Quotes About Humor

I think it's great that they can come in and suck us dry. Remind me to leave my window unlatched tonight. Day. Night. Whatever. Cone steal my soul, you worthless bastards. I'm open like a twenty-four-hour blood diner donor. (Dev)

Menoceus wants his father. Bob is crying because he wants his mother to stop calling him that crap-ass name. It's all right Bob. Daddy's got you now. I'm saving you fromMommy's bad naming taste. I'd be crying, too, if my mom named me after an idiot. Menoeceus is a great name. For an old man or a feminine hygeine product. Not for my son. And next time I get to name the kid and it won't be something that sounds like meningitis.

Really, if that's the case, you need to stop letting your mother dress you funny. It's hard to take anyone serious as a killer when he looks like an investment banker. The only part of me that's nervous is my checkbook. (Kat)

Please tell me the cave just had a little indigestion. (Kat)

Nick rubbed his hand across his face as he tried to make sense of her prattle. But that was the thing about Simi. She seldom made sense.

So would you like to join me for something to eat? (Jericho) As long as it doesn't involve the entrails of demons, I might be persuaded. (Delphine) Demon entrails have no appeal for me, either. Zeus's are another matter. (Jericho)

I'm sorry, you just remind me of someone. (Rose) Old boyfriend? (Gallagher) No, my great-grandfather. (Rose) That's not particularly flattering. I thought I looked rather good for my age. (Gallagher)

Say thank you to her, Dolophonos. She just kept you from getting your ass handed to you. (Jericho) Stop it! One more round of Grand Testosterone and I swear I'll geld you both where you stand. (Delphine)

You know, Alix, men suck. Really. They are the worst. Come with me. I need an estrogen fix before their chromosomal defects contaminate me any further. (Zarina)

Well, we better be quick and not become human popsicles. I'm going to be really upset at you if I freeze to death. (Shahara)

I swear, Kat, you drive like you're playing a video game. (Cassandra) Yeah, yeah. Wanna see the ray gun I have under the hood to zap them if they don't get out of my way? (Katra)

Good grief, Fury, warn me if you're going to jump in here naked. (Bride)

I'm just peachy. Even managed to keep most of my clothes on and everything. (Vane) Yeah, you do that. Don't want your scrawny body making my Sunshine go blind or anything. (Talon) Trust me, if she hasn't gone blind looking at your fat, hairy ass, mine's not going to hurt her any. (Vane) Hairy? Excuse me, but you definitely have me confused with your brother. (Talon)

I'll be damned, you got laid.

What' cha doing out here all alone? Did you forget how to find Sanctuary? (Simi) No. I want to be alone for a bit. (Gallagher) Why? Were the bears mean to you? Mama can get a bit cranky whenever I play with the cubs. She thinks I'm going to eat one, but bleh! They're way too hairy. Now if she'd let me skin one, I might be interested. (Simi) Are you joking? (Gallagher) Oh no. I never joke about hairy food. (Simi)

You can't. He has it shielded. Besides, he's a god and can be a nasty one if you upset him. You try popping into any place where his beloved wife is and you'll get fried faster than chicken at KFC. He doesn't have a sense of humor when it comes to her. So wipe the frown off your face before you hurt her feelings and get gutted for it. (Phobos)

What are you doing here? (Delphine) Being counted among friends. But for the record, you guys better not lose. I don't want my ass fried over this, or any other body parts, either. (Asmodeus)

I'm not dead yet. It's all good. (Omari) Good. That whole spontaneous combustion thing can be a real buzzkill. Ruins your clothes, too. (Nero)

Did you wake him? If I say yes, will you spank me? Syn rolled his eyes. You're horrible, Mari.

You mean you don't know? (Wulf) No. In fact, I'm thinking right now that one, if not both of us, needs to put down the crack pipe and start this night over. (Cassandra)

Good grief. You two look like Village of the Sofa Damned. (Cassandra)

I'm going to go out there and wait until you two are dressed. (Tiernan) Why don't you keep walking until you get to the other side of the front door? (Adron)

Is my andarion rusty or did he just call us the ass of a dung beetle

Yeah, but you're both offending me with all this love-dovey crap. Get a room. No wait, don't. Separate rooms. Both of you! (Jesse)