Quotes About Humor

Ooo, he's snotty. I like him already. (Tee)

Yeah, you go after her, and I suggest you invest in a steel plated jockstrap. Last guy who said something sexual to her and pissed her off is still limping around the office. (Carlos)

Holy crap, Caleb! You're my uncle. Nick No! Caleb It's worse. He's the half-brother of your great-grandfather. Kody You're not helping. Caleb No, but I'm entertaining myself at your adorable expense. Kody Yeah, y'all are missing the important fact. To a Cajun, that makes him my uncle. Nick Great. I always wanted to be a monkey's uncle. Nice to know I finally succeeded. Caleb

Uh, folks, I think that's our boat trying to kill us. (Scott)

Well, I would throw myself under the nearest bus, but considering my luck today, I'm sure it would break down less than a millimeter from me and just ruin my clothes…Probably break my watch, too. (Taryn)

Then get your butt out there and watch them. (Remi) Nice attitude, Rem. Really, you should see about suing whatever asshole sold it to you. (Aimee)

Why is it when I'm the one shot, I'm a baby, but when it's you, it's a matter of life and death and national security? (Joe) Because I'm cuter in a short skirt. (Tee)

Now leave. (Adron) Why would I want to do that? I mean, heaven forbid I should be around someone who actually likes me. It's so much more fun to be here with you insulting my manhood and questioning my parentage every five seconds. (Tiernan)

I have more important things to do anyway. I have a hangnail that needs my attention. (Dev)

Don't be stupid, Jess." – Abigail "Brains don't exactly run in my family. Suicidal lunacy, on the other hand…" – Sundown

Shut up. What did you ask me, anyway?" – Sundown "Really? Good thing I didn't tell you to duck a bomb." – Sasha

All right, everyone. Fess up. Who just shat in their pants? C'mon. Admit it. I know I did and I'm wolf enough to own it." – Sasha

Now that i'm here, what are your other two wishes?

Good tuna fish sandwiches; he's the tallest man I've ever seen. -Pam

Come to the dark side. We have cookies.

Great, just great. The only thing to make him a worse asshole would be to kick a puppy.' (Nathan)

I'm staying here tonight. I can bunk on the floor. (Nathan) What if I say no? (Terri) I'll just break in after you go to sleep and still bunk on the floor. (Nathan)

We were innocent victims. (Angelia) Yeah, and I'm the tooth fairy. (Bride)

What do I do? (Jeff) Well, not to insult a man who looks like a rocket scientist in comparison to you, but…run, Forrest, run. (Rafael)

Who the hell thought of that? Probably the same sick SOB who saw a chicken shoot an egg out of its nether region and said, "Hey, y'all, I think I'm gonna dry that up and eat it. Wish me luck. If I get sick from it, someone fetch a doctor."' – Sundown

Oh, I remember how beautiful you were. You didn't have any hair. You were such a bald little booger, I thought I was going to have to save up to buy you a toupee.

Fate was a bitch, but she always had a wicked sense of humor. Today, he was her punch line. Tomorrow, she'd be laughing at them. -Darling's thoughts

Be kind to dragons, for thou art crunchy when roasted and taste good with ketchup.

Does this mean you made a decision? (Carlos) No, I took my clothes off and came in here to tell you I wasn't going to make love with you. To use your words, 'for someone so intelligent, you can be pretty dense.' (Gabrielle)