Quotes About Humor

I'm the perfect girl. You read about me in Maxim or whatever. I tell dirty jokes like I'm one of the guys, and I'm sitting there in my panties and bra so you can see I'm a piece of ass in the bargain. Except I'm real, so I come with all kinds of complications.

Well if I ever stick a cape on an' start usin' ordinary human bein's to wipe me arse with, you'll know you were right to worry, won't you?

All right, funny man. Some of the shite I've seen in the last couple o' years makes AIDS monkeys sound downright sensible.

Jamie: Um... when you say 'Hopeless Romantic'... what you actually mean is I'm-- Beth: Hopeless at being romantic, yes.

Thank you," said Lirael. "I am glad you didn't leave us out in the cold, despite rule thirty-four." "Rule thirty-six," corrected Mirelle, straight-faced as ever.

BECAUSE THEY LOOK SO SURPRISED TO BE EATEN UP! guffawed the giant. PRINCESSES ALWAYS EXPECTS TO GET RESCUED. Do they? asked Anya mildly. Better they should rescue themselves.

but his cauliflower ears and broken nose made him look like a slightly demented pug.

Who in an orchestra is most likely to be struck by lightning?" he called to his children. "The conductor.

Of course, the sea has tried to kill me on several occasions, has timed itself to coincide with my stupidity and put an end to me. Here in this beautiful lagoon, with time to think of things, and with serenity, some of the madness comes back to me now as I attempt the death-defying feat of eating a second Oreo with my tea.

I have seen their humor and anger expressed in natural terms and learned more about them as dogs and not just extensions of human training.

I got stuck in a toilet.

and that's when it hit me: It's all a joke. With the possible exception of geometry, which has too many sharp edges, and health classes, which make you sick, it's all a joke. All of it. At least now. But I've only felt that way for a short time, so I might be wrong.

Of all the dogs I have had, Fred was the closest to being actually nuclear i his capacity for destruction. None of it was done with evil intent. He was a wonderfully happy pup and adult dog - inventive and with a great sense of humor, more of which later - but he was also amazingly persistent. Once he started a project, he simply would not stop until it was done.

I am a kind of joke, but the question is: which kind? My job is to keep everyone guessing.

If she got tired of the writer, she could probably marry a short, heavyset man on the middle rungs of private equity.

The fact that my sexual awakening peripherally involves Steve Guttenberg I have gradually accepted.

The reflexive sense of wonder, of crying over a medal of the Madonna del Granduca and not knowing why, will be mostly replaced by survival and knowing perfectly well why. And survival will mean replacing the love of the beautiful with the love of what is funny, humor being the last resort of the besieged Jew, especially when he is placed among his own kind.

She told me I was a nerd, but a nerd who made her laugh. I told her I wanted to do more than make her laugh. She told me I should be thankful for what I had. I told her she should move to New York with me. She told me she was probably a lesbian. I told her my work was my life, but I still had room for love. She told me love was out of the question.

As soon as one acquired a liberal education, huge parts of life became an elaborate joke. Maybe that's what you paid for when your parents' check cleared with the bursar--the rights to the joke.

What's that Russian saying about incompetent people trying to pass the blame?" Senderovsky laughed. " 'A bad dancer is bothered by his balls.

Only rarely had Barry seen women combine humor with success.

Why do you know so much old rap? Because I'm white.

But you would have lots of fun with me. For instance, I am the the greatest ventriloquist that ever lived, I am the first ventriloquist in the world!

Thereupon we all four left the office. Richard and I had 'never laughed so much in our lives.