Quotes About Humor

I never wanted to make a graphic novel. As soon as you become a 'writer,' you have to be intelligent all the time... I like the fact that I have the right once in a while to say silly things.

So familiar are eggs to us, however, that in the eighteenth century they were referred to as cackling farts, on the basis that chickens cackled all the time and eggs came out of the back of them.

To place man properly at the present time, he stands somewhere between the angels and the French.

It's always awkward when someone doesn't realize you're joking and devotes thought time to what you've said. Double that when the person is wearing tinfoil.

My favorite sitcom of all time is 'Cheers.' That's a perfect example of how, like, people made fun of Cliff, but you never got the sense that they didn't like Cliff.

Nature should have been pleased to have made this age miserable, without making it also ridiculous.

talking to yourself again, jas? yes, it beats talking to you. oh, time machine back to first grade much? only to visit your brain.

Comedy is tragedy plus time, but the time is different for everybody.

I make myself laugh all the time. I think I'm really funny. I do.

Mother Nature is a freaky lady who probably created pot so she could spend all her time smoking it.

A fly was very close to being called a land, because that's what it does half the time.

I have a "Do Not Disturb" sign on my hotel door. It's time to go to "Don't Disturb". It's been "Do Not" for too long. We should embrace the contraction.

Incubated. And then raised. And then beheaded. And then plucked. And then cut up. And then put on a grill. And then put on a bun. Damn, it's gonna take a while. I don't have time. Scrambled!

You can make the audience laugh, be funny and sad at the same time.

I think I could beat Joe Frazier singing. I was in a Broadway musical called Big Time Buck Wright.

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

Jim said that bees won't sting idiots, but I didn't believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn't sting me.

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in heaven.

Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.

The source of all humor is not laughter, but sorrow.

I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.

Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.

I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it.

I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I'm not feeling so well myself.