Quotes About Humor

We have ample testimony to her sense of humor; Cleopatra was a wit and a prankster. There is no cause to question how she read Herodotus's further assertion that Egypt was a country in which "the women urinate standing up, the men sitting down.

Véra expressed a desire even to hurry it along. "I wish it would go all white," she sighed in 1948, when it was very nearly there. "People will think I married an older woman," her husband protested, to which, without blinking, Véra replied, "Not if they look at you.

If man had more of a sense of humour, things might have turned out differently.

Just as it is impossible to predict with complete accuracy the path of a single electron, so too you cannot know with certainty the future behavior of a single potato. Thus far observations show that man has mashed potatoes millions of times, but it is not inconceivable that one time in a billion the situation could reverse itself, that a potato could mash a man.

One female magnifican, who hardly ever dropped in on us, for some unknown reason took a shine to me and once, after downing Lord knows how many mugs of mineral oil, whispered: "Thou art cute. Wilt have me? Let us hyen to my hous, our-selven ther for to up-hooken . . ." I pretended that a sudden cathode discharge had made it impossible for me to hear her words.

I will put it in another way: if a creation were to take place—which personally I cannot conceive—then the level of knowledge that it would require would be of such an order that there would be no place in it for silly jokes.

Why hire a lawyer? I'll make myself one! And Trurl went home, threw six heaping teaspoons of transistors into a big pot, added again as many condensers and resistors, poured electrolyte over it, stirred well and covered tightly with a lid, then went to bed, and in three days the mixture had organized itself into a first-rate lawyer.

You know, Michael, it's not absolutely true in every case that nobody likes a smart ass.

While she couldn't deliver a comic routine to save her life, she had a well-developed ability to look blank and confused, and she found to her surprise that she enjoyed the laughter.

Ä°çinde bir parça kahkaha olmayan bir ciddiyet hakikaten hakiki olamaz.

Sia lodato Gesù Cristo, disse Don Biffero. Love me tender, rispose Don Fender.

Voglio dormire fino alla morte, magari di qualcun altro

A sedici anni siete giovani e ridicoli, dopo sarete solo ridicoli

Ho pensato: quando una donna ti fa cambiare vita è roba da ridere, ma quando ti fa cambiare la squadra di calcio del cuore, la situazione è seria.

Perché le idee (sventagliata) sono come le tette; se non sono abbastanza grandi si possono sempre gonfiare (risate).

Surely she had endured enough for one evening without having to listen to intelligent conversation?

He was, she reflected, almost rudely like a tortoise; and she was glad her friend kept none as pets or they might have suspected mockery.

I like to make fun of Jeffy [of Family Circus] the most, because I know the grown-up Jeff Keane personally and enjoy ridiculing him.

When in doubt, give a character big, blown-up eyes and puffy lips.

Dad, I'll never do any better. He's smart and funny and good-looking.. Stephanie, he took both my hands, how could you do any worse? Best rhetorical question ever.

I am always late. If I arrived early, my hostess would faint.

It didn't work. He still had wool in his teeth. I couldn't make love to him. He had bone fragments and wool in his incisors, you know?" "Yeah, sheep remnants would be a major mood killer," Trinity agreed

I rub my tender chest. Mandy did my back hair, too, and I don't know which side of me hurts worse. There is man-pain like a hammer striking your finger and then there is Epilady pain.

JUDGE LITTLEFIELD: What's your name, Bailiff?! BAILIFF: Julius of Outer Mongolia.