Quotes About Humor

I do not think that there is any doubt that educated people possess a far wider range of humour than the uneducated class. Some people, of course, get overeducated and become hopelessly academic. The word highbrow has been invented exactly to fit the case. The sense of humour in the highbrow has become atrophied, or, to vary the metaphor, it is submerged or buried under the accumulated strata of his education, on the top soil of which flourishes a fine growth of conceit.

Jack Nightingale: So I'm a hero? Supt. Chalmers: No, Nightingale, you're an arsehole. But I can't arrest you for that.

Smoking's good for you," said Nightingale. "It's packed with vitamins and minerals and has zero calories and fat." He gestured at the stairs. "It's exercise that's bad for you. Look what it's doing to me.

While Churchill was relieving himself, one of the leading nationalizers entered the room and began doing his business right next to Churchill. The irritated conservative moved to the far end of the trough. "Feeling a bit stand off-ish today, Winston?" the new arrival asked mockingly. "No," growled Churchill. "But whenever you see anything big, you want to nationalize it.

Finally, in more serious situations, man humor confronts fear and prepares the heart for action. It's a tool for dealing with danger, quieting panic, and calling comrades to prepare to charge. Call it gallows humor. Call it foxhole humor. Wherever it happens, it is how men use the sometimes crass but always funny comment to force a laugh and encourage their brothers-in-arms.

All couples start off as Romeo and Juliet and end up as Laurel and Hardy.

As a teacher, as well as a parent, I have found that the key to the ninety-nine is the one—particularly the one that is testing the patience and the good humor of the many. It is the love and the discipline of the one student, the one child, that communicates love for the others. It's how you treat the one that reveals how you regard the ninety-nine, because everyone is ultimately a one.

Inevitably, anytime we are too vulnerable we feel the need to protect ourselves from further wounds. So we resort to sarcasm, cutting humor, criticism—anything that will keep from exposing the tenderness within. Each partner tends to wait on the initiative of the other for love, only to be disappointed but also confirmed as to the rightness of the accusations made.

If you do not capitulate to me here, I will exterminate you and all you have ever loved as easily as I exterminate rats!" At that, King Joyse looked over at Prince Kragen. Mock-seriously, he said, "Come, my lord Prince. This discussion is pointless. The High King insists on jesting with us. In all the world, no one has ever succeeded at exterminating rats.

Now, this one might be a little stringy, but then again, it's fiddle player. That isn't fiddle player, it's piccolo player. How can you tell? It's PIPING hot! Then blow on it first!

What you have told us is rubbish. The world is really a flat plate supported on the back of a giant tortoise.

El día más desperdiciado es uno sin reír. NICOLAS CHAMFORT, ESCRITOR

That's easy. Any man who cannae keep his balls oot o' the water needs tae get laid. Come on, let's find my sister.

Hang up the phone on a vampire, the definition of carefree.

One thing you'll say for skeletons, they'll always give you a smile.

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

I find myself laughing a lot. Every time I remember that I'm forgiven and loved (that I have unlimited free sins and blank checks), I get the giggles. In fact, Christians are the only people on earth who have something significant to laugh about.

Groucho Marx once said he found television very educational. "Every time someone turns it on," he said, "I go in the other room to read a book.

We're like the comic strip character Hagar the Horrible who, when asked which he'd choose, power, gold, or true happiness, chose power: "With power, I could get the gold, and then I'd be happy." We find Hagar's idea humorous because we know better. Yet most of the time we ignore this very knowledge, and act (or at least think) much like Hagar.

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, 'Does this taste funny to you?

comedy has to tell the truth.

John Cleese once said that when they started Monty Python, they thought that comedy was the silly bits: "We used to think that comedy was watching someone do something silly . . . we came to realize that comedy was watching somebody watch somebody do something silly." That's the basis of the tool of Straight Line/Wavy Line.

Augie: Does everybody else know? T.C.: About my epitaph? Augie: About me being gay, you gink-head hoser-face! T.C. Not everybody. There's a night watchman at a Dunkin Donuts just outside of Detroit. He doesn't know yet.

Say 'Kenmore Square', I insist. Kenmaw Sqway-ah. Say 'Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina.' Nothing could be finah than to be in Caroliner.' You're doing that on purpose. I'm not. I sway-ah.