Quotes About Wit

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.

He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met.

If I ever had twins, I'd use one for parts.

I think my sense of humor is Jewish. I'm smarter than most white people, which is kind of a Jewish thing, too.

So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?' He said 'It depends where you're calling from.'

There are many things that I find attractive about a woman. Foremost to me, of course, would be a sense of humor-but that doesn't come in a bottle.

Have you seen the new Polish jigsaw puzzle? One piece.

There is a monsterous deal of stupid quizzing, & common-place nonsense talked, but scarcely any wit.

It's a basic rule of humor that a joke is always at somebody's expense. Really good jokes, however, tend to be at everyone's expense.

I believe my friends think I'm funny. All the books are full of humor. Maybe it is a quiet sort of humor that masquerades as not-much-at-all. It is certainly easy to miss.

Wit, after all, is a mighty tart, pungent ingredient, and much too acid for some stomachs; but honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting.

You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.

I do have a dirty sense of humor.

Writing humor is not something every single person can do.

You know, I'm Australian, and we have got the worst sense of humor. We are cruel to each other.

If I had a sense of humor, I'd be laughing right now.

People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, "I'm getting even

I did Scottish footballer of the year this year, attempted to do some comedy at that. Not the brightest people in the world. There were seven O-Levels in that room, and they were all mine.

My father was a small claims court jester.

everybody fancies they have that rare thing, a sense of humour.

For me, it would be very difficult to express an opinion about our times without humor. I don't think you could do that.

Leo. Jason said, you're wierd. Yeah, you tell me that a lot. Leo grinned. But if you don't remember me, that means I can reuse all my old jokes. Come on!

I have a dark sense of humor.

You know, you're rather amusingly wrong.