Quotes About Mark Twain

Words are only painted fire, a look is the fire itself. She gave that look, and carried it away to the treasury of heaven, where all things that are divine belong.

whenever the literary german dives into a sentence, this is the last you are going to see of him till he emerges on the other side of his atlantic with his verb in his mouth.

The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

They said they would rather be outlaws a year in Sherwood Forest than President of the United States forever.

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

As to the adjective: when in doubt, strike it out.

Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humor in Heaven.

A discriminating irreverence is the creator and protector of human liberty.

I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever.

Sufficient unto the day is one baby. As long as you are in your right mind don't you ever pray for twins. Twins amount to a permanent riot; and there ain't any real difference between triplets and a insurrection. - The Babies speech 1879

Conformity—the natural instinct to passively yield to that vague something recognized as authority.

You have heretofore found out, by my teachings, that man is a fool; you are now aware that woman is a damned fool.

Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.

And when he awoke in the morning and looked upon the wretchedness about him, his dream had had its usual effect: it had intensified the sordidness of his surroundings a thousandfold.

Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough.

A historian who would convey the truth must lie. Often he must enlarge the truth by diameters, otherwise his reader would not be able to see it.

If there is no smoking in heaven, I'm not interested

To string incongruities and absurdities together in a wandering and sometimes purposeless way, and seem innocently unaware that they are absurdities, is the basis of the American art, if my position is correct.

A solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.

In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.

Man is the reasoning animal. Such is the claim.

Man is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight

The word Palestine always brought to my mind a vague suggestion of a country as large as the United States. I do not know why, but such was the case. I suppose it was because I could not conceive of a small country having so large a history.