Quotes from Roseanne Barr

I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all worship me. That's what I told my kids.

After my 1985 appearance on 'The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson,' I was wooed by producers in Hollywood, who told me they wanted to turn my act into a sitcom.

Both the Democratic and Republican parties are bought and paid for by corporate America and cater to the needs of the highest bidder as opposed to the people they claim to represent. I cannot be bought.

Imitation is the sincerest form of show business.

It's not really the job of a public servant to inspire, but to get the job that the people demand done. The Democrats think that if they have hope and are inspired, things will get better, but they actually won't.

I had - after I sang the 'Star Spangled Banner' so badly, after my tragic singing accident, after that, you know, all my stuff kind of, like, really got even more full blown and, you know, I got stage fright and, you know, I couldn't do stand-up anymore and let alone sing and all the other things.

Just ten of the Jewish billionaires on this Earth have more than enough to transform the occupied territories into heaven. We can put the 'pal' back in Palestinian.

Truth is available to the ears that can hear it.

In order to be able to write a good joke, you have to find the truth.

I actually regard Facebook as a huge bore, but I cannot refrain from participating in it. I guess I crave the feeling of hope it gives me to think that today will be different from yesterday, that I will find an interesting comment or poke or video, and on the extremely rare occasion when that happens, I am just thrilled.

Adults in a free country should be able to smoke a joint if they want to.

I used to want to be a movie star so I wouldn't have to live in trailers anymore. And now that I make movies, I spend a lot of my life living in trailers.

I want to be the girl in Indiana Jones. I would love to do an adventure movie where I was saving the world. It might be cool if I used a lot of kitchen tools to fight off the enemy.

I want to say that nobody accuses their parents of abusing them without justification to do that. I didn't just make it up. A lot of things were true and abusive and horrible things that happened to me that my father did.

Growing up in a Jewish matriarchal world inside the patriarchal paradise of Salt Lake City, Utah, gave me increased perspective on gender issues, as it also did my gay brother and my lesbian sister. Our younger sister is the perfect Jewish-American wife and mother, and is fiercely proud of that fact.

The real truth is, I just want to keep the voice of dissent alive in all of our elections. I don't really want to hang out with politicians.

Nothing real or truthful makes its way to TV unless you are smart and know how to sneak it in, and I would tell you how I did it, but then I would have to kill you.

I think that all comics or humorists, or whatever we are, ask questions. That's what we're supposed to do. But I not only ask the questions, I offer solutions.

Facts and data, rather than opinion, are the two cornerstones of problem solving, and yet they are consistently withheld from the people by American media. We must have facts and data in order to recognize where there is a problem!

I'm either mentally ill or Jewish. I can't sometimes tell the difference.

Excuse the mess but we live here.

My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel.

I was not raised a Zionist, but a socialist, as were most Jews before the Holocaust.

TV family sitcoms have always been about fathers who know best and mothers who are so enchanted with everything they do. I wanted to be the first mom to be a mom on TV. I wanted to sent out a message about how us women really feel.